Disclaimer: Another parody article to brighten your day, readers. However, if any of you feel insulted by this satire, you can blame me, not GRP. This is essentially a response to this article here by Benign0.
After the success of Warriors Orochi which featured the characters of Dynasty Warriors (which is more or less a video game adaptation of China’s Romance of the Three Kingdoms) and Samurai Warriors (which is a video game adaptation of the Sengoku Era of Japan), its developer Koei has thought of a new way to endear fans to its games. This time, instead of taking near-legendary characters from the distant past, this recent entry will instead feature characters from pre-modern to modern history. In this latest installment, Koei hopes to create a kind of East vs. West feel so that it can appeal to players throughout the world.
|SUPPORT INDEPENDENT SOCIAL COMMENTARY!|
Subscribe to our Substack community GRP Insider to receive by email our in-depth free weekly newsletter. Opt into a paid subscription and you'll get premium insider briefs and insights from us daily.
Subscribe to our Substack newsletter, GRP Insider!
Following the same theme of Warriors Orochi, Dynasty Warriors: America vs. Philippines will feature mythological figures who will summon modern political dynasties for their own nefarious plots. This time, instead of just one main boss like Orochi or Hydra, this game will feature two, namely: Wendigo of Native American myth and Bakunawa, the serpentine eldritch abomination of Philippine mythology. Mid way through the game the political dynasties of both the United States and the Philippines will be forced to work together to save the world from both Wendigo and Bakunawa.
The gameplay will be a combination of both Warriors Orochi and DOTA, wherein players will have to defend key positions from enemies while at the same time try to capture the enemy’s key position while accompanied by friendly soldiers and their captains. Enemies and allies in the game are also confirmed to have a more modern design and will have weapons like machine guns and even modern assault rifles.
So far, Koei is quiet about the line-up of characters but, with so many modern politicians who are part of dynasties, they will certainly have a blast filling the roster. So far, characters who have been confirmed to appear in the game are featured below along with their powers and abilities in the game.
Nancy Binay has been confirmed to be the main protagonist of the game as she will be constantly spouting the “importance of political dynasties” throughout the story. According to the developers, Nancy Binay’s powers will include the ability to attack enemies with her shadow while dancing Gangnam Style.
Hillary Clinton will serve as the alternate protagonist of the game who will eventually become Nancy Binay’s best friend at least in the game. In battle, she will use her trusty tennis racquet to clobber her enemies to submission.
Imelda Marcos will play the role of a rather haughty character similar to Okuni’s character in the original Samurai Warriors. Her powers will include the ability to hurl a barrage of various shoes at enemies.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Franklin Roosevelt will be the all-around grumpy badass of the game and is thought to be similar in characterization (at least in-game) to Cao Cao. He will be using a steampunk wheelchair with mounted machine guns as both his weapon and means of transport.
Little has been confirmed so far about other characters but some of the other names being thrown around are George Bush, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Theodore Roosevelt, Corazon Cojuanco-Aquino, Benigno Simeon Aquino, Bong-Bong Marcos, Jejomar Binay and Manny Pacquiao.
[Image courtesy DeviantArt.com.]
I HAVE RETURNED TO LAY WASTE TO OUR ENEMIES!