Disclaimer: The following is another parody article. However, if it does turn out to be true, I’ll be very happy. Enjoy.
After the success of the PBB or Pinoy Big Brother series, fans are anticipating something new from its developers that will hopefully refresh the franchise for the Filipino people. So far, there has been an edition for celebrities and, following immediately after that, a variation with teens. Both have received mixed receptions, with some calling out the show on centering too much on celebrities and potential celebrities instead of real people with real personalities. Indeed, there has been some debate and at least some evidence that the show is actually scripted for both its main series as well as its two spin-offs. For some even, it is even said that the show’s only appeal to viewers is that it is essentially poorly disguised softcore pornography.
However, this year ABS-CBN and Endemol are planning to impress viewers with an entirely new variation on the old franchise: PBB: Political Edition!
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This time, instead of celebrities or teens, PBB will include all the big names in Philippine politics. With the up and coming presidential election of 2016, it is hoped that PBB: Political Edition will once again endear viewers to the PBB setup as well as promote the various politicians who will be running in the elections. However, there will certainly be some key changes to this version of PBB as will be explained below.
So, is everyone ready to enter Big Brother’s House?
Big Brother’s House
It has been announced that PBB: Political Edition will be taking place in an enclosed area surrounded by 20 meter-high 1000v-electric fences covered in barbed wire to encourage participants to see the competition to its end. Patrolling the outer perimeter will be heavily armed guards accompanied by large and vicious guard dogs who will persuade contestants trying to leave the camp to finish the competition.
The contestants will be made to stay in old, rickety dormitories infested with various insects. The confession room this time will be located somewhere in the center of the compound and will contain various instruments that can “gently” persuade contestants to make confessions to both their fans and their detractors. It has also been decided that visitors will no longer be allowed to meet with the contestants and that the latter will be utterly locked out of communication with the outside world.
Unlike previous installments, PBB: Political Edition will use a very different kind of system to eliminate contestants from the competition.
On a monthly basis, two contestants will be selected (one will be selected by the other participants while the other will be voted for by the viewers) for the “One Man Standing” segment. In it, the two chosen participants will engage one another in a brutal “fight to the death” duel with a melee weapon of their own choice. The participant who survives the duel will then be declared the winner and the deceased participant will be deemed “eliminated” from the competition.
I HAVE RETURNED TO LAY WASTE TO OUR ENEMIES!