3 Reasons We Should Stop Saying Rape Jokes In Public

no_to_rape_jokes

Just recently, Davao Mayor and Presidential Candidate Rodrigo “Digong” Duterte received considerable flak from supporters of the other candidates as well as those from his own camp when he made a joke out of an Australian rape victim. Not long ago, as some of you may very well remember, ABS-CBN comedian Vice Ganda also made a rape joke that involved GMA journalist Jessica Soho which was one of the big things that made people lose interest in him. Now that I think about it, rape jokes are all too common in our country and are a frequent source of black comedy. Heck, even I engage in telling nasty jokes that involve rape and pedophilia when alone with my close friends.

However, I really need to question saying such jokes in public speaks of a deeper and more disturbing aspect of our society. Now yes, as I’ve already mentioned, I may tell rape jokes and worse in private gatherings but experience has taught me that saying them in the presence of strangers (especially when minors are involved) is very bad form indeed. Based on what I’ve learned, we really need to stop telling these kinds of jokes because they don’t paint a very pretty picture of who we are as a people.

Here’s why:

They are an Insult to Actual Rape Victims

Thing is, rape isn’t anything to laugh at. Sure, they make good black comedy jokes but in all honesty, they can be deeply offensive to actual victims of rape. Yes, I tell the same kind of joke from time to time but I’ve learned over time (and painfully at that) that they’re not exactly funny for everyone.

So I’m gonna go out on a limb here and tell a bit about my personal story. Take note that I’m not putting this here to earn your sympathy. I’m putting this here because I want you to gain a better understanding of what I’m talking about.

As a young boy, I was sexually molested by my own biological father. That incident broke me in ways I can’t even begin to understand or explain. Thinking back on the incident now, it’s probably one of the biggest reasons I’m somewhat of a nervous wreck today. To this very day, even as a grown man, I still have nightmares about that disturbing episode in my life even if it was just a few minutes. It was one of the many reasons my mother agreed with the idea of separating with my father at the time.

Unfortunately, to this day, my biological father treats the incident as some kind of joke. He insists that he was just “fooling around” with me and meant no malice with what he had done. He kept insisting to my furious mother at the time that I even made up some of the details that transpired despite the fact that I was a bawling heap in the corner of our room. My grandfather, on the other hand, was utterly disgusted by what happened and thought that keeping me away from my father was for the best.

It “Normalizes” the Idea of Rape

Like I said, “rape” isn’t funny, especially for the people who are victims of it. Sure, they might put up with it and sometimes even make a joke of it but on the inside, it haunts them to no end. It’s there when they interact with other people, it’s there when they look at themselves in the mirror and it’s there when they finally go to sleep. It’s not something you will ever forget and unlike most memories you can eventually laugh at like when you vomited on your boyfriend/girlfriend while you were drunk or the time when you ate something that didn’t agree with you and ended up pooping in your own classroom as a kid, you won’t be comfortable sharing it with others.

However, making a joke of rape makes it almost seem normal to some people. This is especially true when there are children involved as they can be easily gullible and may even believe that lascivious acts and general lewdness are the norm. For many years even, my father tried to convince me that what he did to me was just a “joke” and therefore “normal”.

Unfortunately, while cases of rape in our country might be common and may even be rising, that doesn’t exactly make it “right”, does it? Worse, considering the mentality of typical Pinoys, many misguided youths might start thinking: “Since a lot of people are doing it, maybe I should too!”

It’s Mysogynistic

Like I said, even make rape jokes from time to time but you have to understand that not everyone will find them funny, especially women. Of course, while they can indeed be funny from time to time, one still has to be careful when and where they are to be said. The thing with rape jokes is that they all too often depict women as sex objects whose only real value is giving pleasure to men. Now, while the person telling the joke might not mean it, it might not sound the same to another person who may or may not be a victim of rape.

Truth be told, some people who have traumatic experiences might not even see rape jokes as “jokes” at all and may perceive them as attacks on their person. They can be easily misunderstood, especially by the wrong kind of people and the big problem here is that the Philippines is just filled to the brim with the wrong kind of people. Sure, one might not look down on women, but telling a rape joke under the wrong kind of circumstances might make you look like you are.

***

Now look, let me make this clear: This article isn’t here to judge anyone or any political party. I wrote this because I think that we can make better jokes than those involving rape. This isn’t even about Mayor Duterte or even Vice Ganda. This is about us Filipinos having a better sense of humor.

Also, I don’t really find anything wrong with rape jokes so long as they are delivered in the right and proper venue like private parties or inside comedy bars. Similar to what Mocha Uson (one of the celebrity supporters of Mayor Duterte) said about “twerking”, one must show discretion when choosing a venue for one’s antics. I hope this made sense for all of you.

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22 Comments on “3 Reasons We Should Stop Saying Rape Jokes In Public”

  1. If men could see women as they really are, they would be a little amazed; but the cleverest, the acutest men are often under an illusion about women: they do not read them in a true light: they misapprehend them, both for good and evil: their good woman is a queer thing, half doll, half angel; their bad woman almost always a fiend.

  2. Also, I don’t really find anything wrong with rape jokes so long as they are delivered in the right and proper venue like private parties or inside comedy bars.

    You pretty much just voided the whole point you were trying to make here by saying this…among a few other things. You’re saying he needs to apologize, yet you find nothing offensive about rape jokes? Seriously? Rape is not a laughing matter whether you decide to make a tactless joke in private or public…it’s in poor taste and shows you have no respect for women or even a male that has been a victim of rape. You contradict yourself so many times in this piece, for instance stating that it’s misogynistic to tell a rape joke, but that they can indeed be funny from time to time. The bottom line for me is…rape isn’t something that should be joked about no matter what platform you decided to use.

  3. To single out “rape jokes” is just ridiculous and falls under the typical “political correctness” category that seems to sweep the planet. Most certainly rape in itself is not funny, but we can joke about it. Because are we not equally offended with jokes about:

    sick children
    disabilities
    the mentally challenged
    midgets
    pedophilia
    homosexuality
    animal abuse
    cancer
    abortion
    miscarriage
    race
    9/11 and other terrorist attacks
    natural disasters
    incest
    fat people
    aids
    murder
    religion and priests (hilarious)
    blonde women
    war
    prostitution

    et cetera

    the list goes on and on …

    So lets not pretend here. There are a lot of things we laugh about, don’t single out just one topic. The real crime here is that the joke is lame and that the comedy in itself fails.

    So here’s a funny one instead:
    God gave women yeast infections so that they would know what it was like living with an irritating cunt for once.

    1. What Jim said.

      No, saying that rape jokes should stop is nothing but political correctness.

      Political correctness should stop.

    2. Personally, I don’t find rape jokes funny as I feel strongly against it and refrain from telling one either privately or publicly, but for the sake of comparison, here it goes:

      Example of a funny rape joke for you fucking Dutertard pervs! – I was raping a woman the other night and she said “Please, think of my children!”, wow I thought, Kinky bitch.

      The joke made by your Fuhrer was from a real event that ended in tragedy, and the woman he was referring to had her throat slit and at the time he saw her was already a corpse!!!

      Yellowtards are Necropoliticians while Duterte is Necrophiliac!

      I cannot, for the life of me, think how a man can even feel SEXUALLY AROUSED and think about RAPE under those horrible conditions.

      For me it’s not about the joke or political correctness! It’s about Duterte showing signs of Necrophilia! It’s just downright disgusting!

      1. >> I cannot, for the life of me, think how a man can even feel SEXUALLY AROUSED and think about RAPE under those horrible conditions.

        Because he’s a psychopath, obviously.

  4. What is good when there is freedom of speech and expression with a global audience is the great opportunity for the brilliantly assertive to self destruct.

  5. and BTW, A joke is a way of saying something offensive and getting away with it,DUH! The old ‘its a joke’ is supposed to lighten the offended parties demeanor and make them realize the absurdity of getting upset.

    because: NOTHING REALLY MATTERS, ANYONE CAN SEE…’, DUH!

  6. Sorry to hear about that sad chapter in your life Grimwald. I can understand why the Daisy incident hits a raw nerve. Very few people can really sympathize/empathize. Underneath the rough edges, I still think this diamond that Mar and Binay are trying with all their might to bring down can…

    video link

    I would want to see the next generation of this oppressed Medieval society in good hands.

    1. All I can say is that I rather have a person who talks bad and does good, than a person who talks good and does bad.

      1. All I’m going to say is that if Duterte can find a way to locate and slaughter monsters like Peter fucking Scully in the Philippines then by all means…

  7. I sympathize with your experience, Mr Grimwald. I think your biological father was monster. How could he do that with his own flesh and blood.

    Rape is a traumatic experience, on a victim (woman or man). It is done against their will. I have sympathy with those who had suffered, such traumas.

    Rape should not be used as a Joke. Because , it is not a Joking matter. A victim of a crime, must not be used, as a feature of a Joke.

    Mayor Duterte, should muzzle his wide mouth. He is a loose cannon…

  8. I am a guilty also of making rape joke. I just do this with close friends and in private. What Duterte did was uncalled for. But it was not intended it to be. It was uttered out of total anger. This is the normal language of thugs. Too bad Duterte is part of them. You have to understand where he is coming from. No need to vilify him. No need to sensationalize his jokes. He can apologize to the Filipino people but not to specific entity. I would rather have a bad joke than a politician who is a joke.

    1. You are the joke here if an apology to the Filipino people is not enough for you. You state that you are also guilty about making rape jokes.

      Did you apologize? Not even in your post here. You justify it by saying “I just do this with close friends and in private.”

      Fucking double standard if you ask me. You point fingers at Duterte while doing the same.

      1. Hey fucking Jim why so angry?? Mar is defending your fucking idol… Read the whole comment before going on full Dutertard mode you rabid fanboy you!

  9. I laugh at green jokes, my jokes are green, but there is a limit, rape is one of them. If you have read erotica novels of fanfiction written by westerners, there is a lenghty disclaimer if they will write about non-consensual sex, that is how they are taking rape seriously, they still write about it but they are aware that this is not something to joke about. That is why if we consider here in our telenovelas that a man kissing a sleeping woman romantic, for them that is creepy, because sexual consent is a very serious thing, a no is a no. And the way that we take rape lightly is scary especially for women. God help us all.

    1. Do you even know music? Seriously you fucking ass? You’re gonna use this piece of art as an argument to support your Fuhrer? C’mon man, it’s apples and oranges! This is an anti-rape song meant as an eye opener to the public on the plight of the victimized and the payback the perpetrator gets!

      Here is the official interpretation from Cobain himself – “Basically, I was trying to write a song that supported women and dealt with the issue of rape. Over the last few years, people have had such a hard time understanding what our message is, what we’re trying to convey, that I just decided to be as bold as possible. How hard should I stamp this point? How big should I make the letters? It’s not a pretty image. But a woman who is being raped, who is infuriated with the situation . . . it’s like “Go ahead, rape me, just go for it, because you’re gonna get it.” I’m a firm believer in karma, and that motherfucker is going to get what he deserves, eventually. That man will be caught, he’ll go to jail, and he’ll be raped. So rape me, do it, get it over with. Because you’re gonna get it worse.”

      There you go you fucking Dutertard. Now don’t go using a piece of art to compare with the piece of shit Duterte joke!! Shame on you!!!

        1. What if it’s both?? We’ll see when he steps into Malacanang… Du30 is now a sure win. I just hope and pray the worst case scenario doesn’t happen….

        2. How about this: “Sana ma-rape ka at si idol mo”. There, typical dutertetard response for you too and your fuhrer.

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