Why Does the Philippines Even Exist?

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Why ask why? Well, as much as what, when, where, or how is as valid enough a starting word for an inquiry, I like to ask WHY questions because it makes us THINK. And I really encourage more Filipinos to get into the habit of doing so because it’s great cerebral-gymnastics exercise – being one of the foundation stones of the much elusive common sense badly needed in the land of zombies.

They say the brain is like a muscle. It needs to be exercised to make it capable of performing even greater things. This blog site is a great venue for exchanging ideas. I’m sure many of you have gravitated to this planet of cyberspace because of the intellectual challenges that we all get faced with as “iron sharpens iron” in our gladiatorial combat arena downstairs – where the debates/discussions on political and national issues are more intellectually satisfying than lazily watching the best that our noontime shows and teleseryes have to offer.

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So much for long introductions – now, let’s get to the point: Why does this country of small, brown, short-nosed (if not mixed-breed) Malays even exist? And why do we even care enough for this country as to spend long hours on this blog to exchange ideas on how to better this seemingly God-forsaken place? Why oh why?

The Philippine’s Role in the World

To answer this fundamentally profound question, we need to identify just what this country brings to the table on the global scale – to even consider it worthy of being given any importance in the first place. Knowing our unique place or role in the world gives us insight into what we need to focus and build on to preserve our niche in the vast global marketplace – a cruel world where survival of the fittest is the name of the game.

Well, I did a quick survey and guess what – the results match exactly what I had in mind. Our great-in-Pinoy-minds country exists for three very special reasons. And if we ever got wiped off the face of the earth (by a North Korean nuke for example), at least some distant people from up to halfway across the globe may shed a few crocodile tears for these three reasons:

  1. Tropical fruits – Bananas, mangoes, pineapples, coconuts. This country brings so much fruit to the rest of the world that we might as well see tons of material literally disappear from Philippine top soil as they get shipped in the form of healthy luscious fruit in every direction over the globe to the satisfaction of our very happy customers.
  2. White-sand beaches – The best beaches in the world from El Nido to Boracay in a sprawling archipelago with a coastline stretching thousands of miles laden with such sugar-fine white sand. Northern Asians, Australians, and Europeans who long for a break from their cold winters just look forward to a good vacation basking under the sun in our many tropical islands far away from the busy stressful lives in their home countries. A perfect getaway surrounded by crystal clear blue waters – a paradise on earth even a brainwashed radical Jihadi will go on a suicide mission for.
  3. Filipinas – maids, wives, nurses, caregivers, nannies, entertainers, singers, you name it – our women are in high demand everywhere. The homey feeling a visitor to our country gets being just minutes with English-wielding Filipinas gets them dazed in a tantalizing spell that defies logic. Many of them are easy-to-hook women, whom equally gullible foreign men can be assured of to take good care of their future Pia-Wurtzbach-looking children, as well as treat them as a king and live happily ever after.

Taking in a Filipina is another one of those symbiotic relationships that many foreigners consider to be a win-win situation; just keep those notoriously nosy and leeching freeloaders out of the picture. The next level will be to find our women being used as surrogate mothers for fast depleting European & Japanese first-world stock (sky’s the limit with Skynet just right around the corner, right?).

The Fulfillment of having Meaning and Purpose

Philippine tourism and exports hinge largely on these three distinguishing marks of P.I. Foreign visitors flock and even return to this country because they can find enough good things to come back for. Countries will pay big bucks for what we can offer – even if they’re hardly anything much to be proud of, being not even products of arduous discipline and intellect to produce (coz to come to think of it – how do you produce item 3 but by just a simple momentary blast of orgasmic pleasure; now how hard could that be?).

Would the world be better off without the Philippines? Would anyone miss Filipinos if they happened to go extinct like the dinosaurs? You can at least answer with a sigh of relief that maybe this country (the Filipino) is still worth fighting for. Aren’t you glad we are not just a weed that merely consumes the earth’s resources for nothing? We as a nation still have some meaning and purpose for existing on planet earth!

What about Filipino Men?

Guys, sorry to disappoint you on item 3, but there isn’t really much to say about Filipino men other than the fact that a few Chinoys like Jose Rizal and Henry Sy made their nation proud, with much fewer exceptions for true-blue native Pinoys: namely, Manny Pacquiao. It may be tough luck, but let’s just hope (again crossing our now very tired fingers) Mar, Rody, or Jejomar, if one of them even make it, could turn the tables around in our favor gender-wise. In the meantime, as the Japanese say:  “Ganbatte kudasai!” – coz at the rate we are going, it looks like Filipino native men only exist to show the world how NOT to run a country.

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40 Comments on “Why Does the Philippines Even Exist?”

  1. I mentioned this in a previous article, but I don’t see anything the country can offer to the world that’s worthwhile to anybody except to serve as the beacon and gathering point for the Catholic faith and identity in Asia. After having met with adherents from Korea, Japan, Thailand, etc. where they are small minorities, many believe the Philippines should seriously take up that leading role for them. But in any case, if you wipe the country off the map then the United States will be the 3rd most populous Catholic country in the world and still nobody would notice. Also, foreigners will have to find other alternatives for sex tourism since the country is top five in that regard.

      1. Of course they have credibility… when it comes to sex tourism, that is. I believe the country just recently surpassed Thailand in that industry in all of Asia. Hooray!

        1. Well the Filipina winning steak in major pageants is sure sending a strong message on PH credibility in that area

  2. There are far worse countries than the Philippines with little or no contribtion to the world. We exist because we just do, just like somalia exist because they just do.

    All countries have their shortcomings, some are worse than others. There is absolutely nothing wrong in criticizing your own country but I think you are doing disservice to your own people by belittling. or showing lack of faith, to filipino men. Instead of counting on others to make our country better, I reckon it would be wiser for you to contribute something to our country. Criticizing our fellow men without offering a solution is just that.

    You don’t have to do something grand. You can help others in small gestures, or make a single person’s life a little better instead of resorting to criticism without offering a suggestion or a solution. That is not cerebral calisthenics. Even idiots are capable of being a critiique. You are just merely pointing out the obvious – which require minimal thinking.

    With all due respect, you come off as a pseudo-intellect, or perhaps it’s just me. I can, of course, be wrong with my observations.

    1. Ok so I’m an idiot for criticizing PH – Great. Then so is everyone here in GRP. If you came here to feel good about your messed up country, I think you’re in the wrong place.

      What makes you think I’m not contributing anything to my country?

      Solution on a silver platter? We’ll have to ask a Filipina like Ilda for that man. But I’m afraid she might just give you a simple answer >>> THINK

    2. It’s always the same lousy excuse;

      There are countries worse than the Phils.

      which somehow

      magically

      absolves the Phils. from its obvious dysfunction.

      Ano ba nagawa mo?

      Nagmamarunong ka lang!


      Typical template reactions.

    3. Oh no stupid failipino. What did YOU do for our country? NOTHING! You’re nothing but another cancer to the country who only talk people not solutions because you’re using too much “bahala na” mentality you dimwit.

  3. Historically speaking, the Failippines existed because other countries needed a testing ground for their respective culture and lineage, a source of extraction for natural resources, a pre-positioning military outposts, and a dumping ground for their toxic waste.

    Today, the Failippines exist as a source of international maid for foreign companies, mail-order-bride/girlfriends for foreign “Dirty Old Men,” and a feeding ground for the Chinese’s “Bamboo Network” of political and commercial cartels.

    In short, the Failippines is both a pimp and a whore for the world, and it’s written in our DNA.

    1. Amen to that partner. Btw, I have a new idea for a product that will sell like hotcakes: common sense fruit juice for men.

      Should work wonders like our placebo Chinese blood shots for wannabe native Pinoy businessmen.

      1. zaxx,

        And one would think that after pimping and whoring themselves to people of other countries for centuries, and calling themselves “world class” material by their own standards, Failipinos would already have what it takes to improve their primitive ways of crabbing each other back down in the basket.

        Yes, I agree, maybe a shot of the “placebo Chinese blood” is in order. Just make sure the needle is injected in the carotid artery, so the serum won’t take long to travel to the deadpan brain.

        Aeta

        1. And if that doesn’t work – we can go to plan B: brain transplants. This is big business Aeta – we’ll be making a killing so you can retire early and blog all you want 24/7

  4. “There are far worse countries than the Philippines with little or no contribtion to the world.”

    I try not to compare the Failippines to other countries. Failipinos always use this comparison as an excuse to deny they have a problem or it is not serious enough to be fixed.

    1. Pinoys only compare the Philippines with countries that are in worse shape then brag about “success.” But when the Philippines is then compared to more advanced nations suddenly it’s “unfair.”

      1. It’s all about what’s the country’s standard. Like in PH politics, I don’t know what the standard of excellence is.

        Buti pa grade-1 ang passing ay 75.

  5. is Pia a natural born Pilipina? because of her foreign sounding name. if not, how could she represent the Philippines in the Miss Universe? what’s the difference between her and Grace Poe representing the Philippines?

    1. Pia represents Pinoys coz that’s what they are – foreign blood suckers: better than Dracula (didn’t want to say worse – I’ve learned from Manny)

      1. zaxx,

        I don’t know if it’s just me, but do you get the feeling that most of the women the Failippines sends to these international beauty contests look more like South American than Failipina beauties? I wonder why?

        Aeta

  6. how can you sum up a country’s role with only 3 items; a country built from years of culture, populated by millions of individuals- each with his own purpose

    1. “how can you sum up a country’s role with only 3 items; a country built from years of culture, populated by millions of individuals- each with his own purpose”

      That’s exactly what I have been saying all along. Failipinos think individually and not collectively. No wonder the Failippines is a failed nation.

  7. As shitty as things seem; it is true there are a lot of other countries in even worst situations (think Africa). That said, your article does highlight that we Filipinos could be in a much better place, if only we can get our act together. Point 3 – women is especially painfully true.

    1. Well that’s funny. Before we moved to the US, my family lived in Africa (Nigeria and Liberia, to be exact) for over 10 years because there were no jobs in the Philippines.

    2. “As shitty as things seem; it is true there are a lot of other countries in even worst situations (think Africa).”

      Each time the Failippines is compared to other countries that in worst situations, Failipinos kick back and get lazy about doing anything to improve their shitty situation.

  8. Poland was ‘partitioned’ 3 times – the final being in 1795 – by its more powerful neighbors Prussia, Russia, and Austria-Hungary – and did not ‘exist’ for 123 years until it became free after WWI until 1939 then was not fully ‘free’ until Solidarity in the early 1980s and a certain Polish pope came along and after a period of martial law free and independent in 1989.
    Maybe it doesn’t mean much to some people who don’t seem to understand what freedom is for, but it means a lot to the Polish.

  9. A nation is not defined by its borders or the boundaries of its land mass. Rather, a nation is defined by adverse people who have been unified by a cause and a value system and who are committed to a vision for the type of society they wish to live in and give to the future generations to come.

    1. “A nation is not defined by its borders or the boundaries of its land mass. Rather, a nation is defined by adverse people who have been unified by a cause and a value system and who are committed to a vision for the type of society they wish to live in and give to the future generations to come.”

      For sure, it ain’t the Failippines.

  10. i hope manny is it. i think what he said is a weapon of the bible. are we entering now battle of the books? how about after election, the book says we must forgive right.

  11. Why does the Philippines exist?

    – as a political entity: to show the world what NOT to be….for one reason

    – as a cultural entity: if things worked out the way they should — to add color through diversity and tradition

  12. We must protect and preserve what little there is that’s left of our ‘culture’. We could start by asking our politicians.. from Municipal Councilors on up to members of Congress.. to refrain from further renaming streets to honor political ‘dead beats’ who happen to be relatives. Before this ‘re-naming’ fever, our streets have always been named after men.. Filipino, Chinese, American or Spaniard.. who have distinguished themselves in exploration, the sciences, and public service and administration. People who have accomplished significant things for the country, and who should be remembered.

    There is, for instance, the United Nations Avenue which was once ‘Padre Faura Avenue’. Fr. Federico Faura was a Spanish Jesuit who was the founder and first director of the ‘Manila Observatory’.. which has become PAGASA today. ‘CM Recto Avenue’ was once Paseo de Azcarraga , named after Marcelo Azcarraga the only Philippine born, ‘mestizo’ who became Prime Minister of Spain. The late Senator C.M. Recto, the incorruptible statesman who, in his time, managed to shame corrupt politicians into ‘toeing the line’, could have been honored in some other way so that the accomplishments of Azcarraga might be remembered. Pedro Gil Street, named after a 1920s legislator was once Calle Herran. Jose de la Herran was a Spanish Naval Captain in the battle of Manila Bay. His valor in a losing effort was honored by the American victors themselves by naming an important artery after him. The victor of that battle, Admiral George Dewey was, for a while, appropriately honored himself, by the naming of that once beautiful boulevard bordering Manila Bay after him. It has since been renamed Roxas Boulevard. Many believe that President Manuel Roxas’ memory might, also,have been preserved some other way.. Roxas City, for instance.There, too, in Davao, is another expunged name; that of Don Jose Uyanguren, the Spanish explorer who established the settlement that is now Davao City; and, who initiated the development of the rich farming district, the Padada Valley south of Davao City, (from Santa Cruz through Digos and on to Padada). What was Unyanguren Street in Davao City is now, (again), C.M. Recto Avenue. There are too many other names that have since been unceremoniously scrubbed; some of which, like the ‘cobbled stone’ surface of the old ‘Escolta’, may be gone forever.

    I think it is unwise to totally.. if gradually.. erase our past. In fact,it might not be a bad idea to start reinstating names and landmarks that should serve as historical landmarks of the country. It is a good bet that starting from the last generation of Filipinos, none would have the foggiest about the aforementioned names. We are becoming a race that has no clue.. no inkling.. of its roots. It is a cultural tragedy that has to be reversed.

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