Despite Otso Deretso’s crushing defeat in the recent senatorial polls, Yellowtardism isn’t really dead yet. Leni Robredo (more commonly regarded by the vast majority as the fake VP) is the last remaining thread that keeps the Yellow camp’s hopes alive.
Imagine if Ms. Heartbeat Away assumes the throne as Chief Executive the moment Digong passes away one of these days. With all the gloom-and-doom super-quakes taking place in Mindanao lately, not to mention reckless self-inflicted motorcycle mishaps, it’s not a remote possibility. The country survived a Cory and a PNoy, but will it survive a Leni? One thing’s pretty certain: she will likely easily dethrone PNoy from the pedestal of “pinaka-nakakahiyang (most embarrassing) Head of State in Philippine history.”
For now, Ms. Heartbeat Away is having the time of her life in her role as the Opposition-anointed crusader in saving the country from “dictators.” Yellow-aligned media outlets are waiting like hungry leopards ready to pounce every time ate Leni has a pronouncement. Having overcome the first hurdle of Bongbong’s VP electoral protest, things could further turn in her favor to unsuspecting Filipinos’ surprise.
Getting paid a hefty sum by taxpayers simply to criticize from a lofty ivory tower just about anything the current administration is doing isn’t such a bad position to be in. The stinking problem though is that the message delivery is such an incompetent confounding mess. Why can’t she communicate with clarity?
Where does she get those “facts” about the scale of killings in the drug war? What’s the point of antagonizing China when we can’t even defend ourselves militarily? Some are wondering where she gets all the garbage she sends out to entire world, and why top broadcast networks still keep peddling her every word for public consumption, despite the complete farce that she represents.
Why does the “VP” speak the way she does? One conspiracy theory is that Ate Leni is actually an ALIEN whose gastrointestinal tract works in the reverse direction. This can likely explain where all the illogically confusing crap and obscure statements spewing out that big hole on her head is coming from. Those who dine with her in secret upper-echelon LP-exclusive chambers can possibly attest to the validity of what the common Yellowtard will dismiss to be a preposterous speculation.
Leni could be the centerpiece of a well-orchestrated grand conspiracy to bring down Digong and Bongbong. And for what purpose? To keep Pinoys poor, incompetently managed and anti-intellectual simply because these aliens need a constant supply of brown people who will be willing slaves streaming out of this tropical paradise for first-world nations to focus on alien-sponsored endeavors that matter more than cleaning up homes, dishes and elderly folk’s assholes.
We should begin to ask the right questions to dig deeper into the conspiracy’s rabbit hole:
1. Did the alien who took on Leni’s resemblance actually have Jesse (and the real Leni) killed?
2. How did a complete nobody just a few years back with no real credentials or accomplishments other than something like “her dog died” suddenly get to be the second most powerful official of the land?
3. And finally, why do so many pictures show Leni awkwardly looking like an alien straight out of a freak-show Hollywood thriller?
It would be interesting to see how the story plays out. Besides, when life’s just a joke or entertaining telenovela, Filipinos won’t really mind getting a taste of their own Charot medicine.
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- Nobel + Corona + Virus: The best way to remember PNoy’s twisted legacy - February 6, 2020
- Scratching the ChaCha itch: Why an Opposition VP like Leni will never work well for the Philippines - January 9, 2020