Thank You, Celebrities!

We have been seeing a barrage of tweets from the paragon of knowledge and virtue of our society lately – the celebrities of the entertainment world in the Philippines. Never mind the actual health experts, scientists, and reputable think-tanks. No! If it weren’t for the celebrities, mere mortals like us would not know that Filipinos are all victims of President Duterte’s “incompetence”. If it weren’t for the #DutertePalpak hashtags being spread by the tweets of some famous wokester actors, Filipinos may never have realized that the government’s job is to be all omnipotent and omniscient in dealing with Covid-19. So maybe it is time to thank our local celebrities for the patriotic service they are giving to our country. We can always rely on them to make us realize that our lives suck under this present administration and that we are all hopeless against the pandemic because it’s really never about individual discipline and personal responsibility but it is always about the Duterte government’s failure.

Actor Enchong Dee seems to tweet about what qualifies to be or have a magic wand.

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Take actor Enchong Dee for instance. He tweets about what qualifies to be a magic wand and what qualifies to have a magic wand. I guess it must be true that simply being president makes one become a magic wand! I suppose that money solves anything and everything! Hey, Enchong asserts them so they must be true, right? No wonder why Enchong did not seem to see any problems during the Noynoy administration. Noynoy was president so he became the magic wand to wipe away any diplomatic embarrassment from the Luneta Massacre, the loss of the Scarborough Shoal, the daily gridlock from Metro Manila traffic, corruption highlighted by Pork Barrel and PDAF scandals, the massacre of the SAF44, and of course the death of thousands of our fellow Filipinos in the aftermath of Super Typhoon Yolanda. Filipinos also gave Noynoy all the people’s tax money during his reign. He had six years to use his magical powers as president! The fact that we hardly heard any whining from brilliant actors like Enchong back then probably makes his assertion true! Yes, being president with all the tax money at one’s disposal makes one able to magic away all of the country’s problems! Let’s thank, Enchong for making us realize that since Noynoy was able to do it, we should expect it from Duterte too! That was quite a brilliant thought from Dee! Now as for his demand for Duterte to stop using flowery words? Should he have just said “Kayo ang boss ko!”? Now from whom have I heard that before?

Actress Liza Soberano seems to think that if America can do it, so can we!

Then there’s the lovely Liza Soberano. She seems to have not only measured the lack of competence of the current dispensation, she also seems to suggest the government’s lack of compassion too! How? Well, Soberano compared the Philippines with America. America, she tweeted, has received two rounds of stimulus already and is just waiting on the third. In America, Covid testing is free, vaccination is free, I mean come on! If America can give so much freebies why can’t the Philippines have the same, right? Her heart surely bleeds for the poor in the Philippines as she seems to suggest that things will be a lot easier if everyone in the Philippines can have food on their table and money to pay the bills. Brilliant, right? Who do we suppose is responsible for feeding and giving money to everyone in the Philippines? Soberano seems to be alluding to the government. Yes! The Philippine government should always be the solution and the provider of all things just like how it is in America, as she seems to suggest. Never mind that despite being both fruits, an apple and an orange are not equivalent and never mind that Adolf Hitler and Jesus Christ are different individuals despite both having facial hair, the fact that a beautiful celebrity like Soberano tweets such an intelligent comparison between the Philippines and America ought to make all Filipinos realize that they should all be entitled to free stuff simply because America does it! Gee, how can Filipinos live without Soberano’s tweets of wisdom all the way from a relaxing vacation in Siargao?

Then of course, we have the grandmama and the grandpapa of all the celebrity geniuses – Ms. Leah Navarro and Mr. Jim Paredes.

Singer Leah Navarro uses statistics to make her anti-Duterte point.

Navarro presented her proof of Duterte’s incompetence by highlighting the country’s new cases of Covid-19. She seems to be arguing that since the Philippines has more than 7,000 new cases of Covid-19, Duterte is doing nothing and is killing Filipinos because of his negligence. She also seems to echo Enchong’s beef against the president with regards to the money the government was given to magic away the virus yet no magic has happened. Ms. Navarro is of course correct to point the shocking number of new Covid-19 cases. It certainly is a terrifying thought of catching the virus and infecting our loved ones at home. It is good that Filipinos have the one thing that gives Filipinos hope and strength to overcome this pandemic and it is none other than to listen to her song “Isang Mundo, Isang Awit”. Never mind that if we use Ms. Navarro’s logic, actual data will show that the world has far worse negligent killer leaders who deserve the #palpak hashtag, the singer of “Totoo Bang Lahat Ito” (move over Cardi B!) cannot possibly be using cherry-picked statistics merely to support an anti-Duterte agenda, right? A wise man (who incidentally, is colored yellow) once said:

“Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.”

Singer Jim Paredes with the good old anti-Marcosian tag.

Well, I guess when all things fail to convince more than 90 percent of mere mortals in the Philippines to turn against president Duterte, we can always rely on the genius of Mr. Jim Paredes to use his old anti-Marcos card. Sure, your business may be hurting, you may be days away from unemployment because of the economic effects of the pandemic and heck, your family may even be the next deadly statistic! These real problems don’t matter because Mr. Paredes asserts that Duterte is the new viral variant of bad boy Ferdinand Marcos and that is all that matters.

Thank you very much, celebrities! Filipinos can never live and think without you!

7 Replies to “Thank You, Celebrities!”

  1. Cool, Jim Paredes actually discovered the cure for Covid, it’s called masturbation. No PH government official even the IATF could actually thought of that.

  2. Enchong Dee says that the presidency has this “magic wand”. So this means Noynoy wielded this “magic wand once?

  3. Martin Scorsese’s “The King of Comedy” is a must-watch. These celebrities are too dumb to realize that they’re just goofing around.

  4. They think political statements are just the usual business endorsements. They don’t even question their own bosses..

  5. There are too many people, who presumed themselves, to be intelligent to solve the country’s problems…

    Our problems are complicated, and they cannot be solved overnight, or a year or so…

  6. What is this article even blathering about? It’s just as inane as those airhead celebrities. Especially baffling is the whataboutist “…actual data will show that the world has far worse negligent killer leaders who deserve the #palpak hashtag,” linking to a data sheet where the Philippines would be leading the high score count in SEA if not for Indonesia. Why is there a need to look outside for more #palpak nations as if them doing worse makes our situation any better?

    I do wish we live in a world where “celebrities” are not venerated, and their social media idiocy is nonexistent (or you know, just idiocy in general). But this article just stoops to the same level of showbiz drivel, with its lame attempts to burn those poor, poor celebs with spicy zingers.

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