Fake X-mas: The Filipino’s most awaited gift-extortion season of the year

The season of lights and carols is finally in the air. Christmas brings many fond memories to most Filipinos, of loved ones and friends all in hopeful anticipation of the Christmas holiday parties and vacation break – and the eve of that day they finally receive their most awaited undeserved gifts and handouts.

Caroling and the white envelope

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In the Philippines where everything about true Christianity is reversed, it is far more blessed to receive than to give. Caroling is a legalized mechanism for extortionists to coerce you to give for the express reason of sparing you of their unsolicited noise. Let’s not forget the Bible verse Pinoys live by… “Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.”

Then beware of receiving the dreaded white envelope. It means you need to put in the Yellow bill on which are printed the “never-forgettable” faces of the fake hero and fake saint grinning with delight.

Merry merry X-mas^2 !!

Just what is the entire Christmas season all about? It’s actually more accurately known as “X-mas”, because we cross out the “Christ” and replace it with something else. Besides who even thinks of the Christ during the season of his birth?

(X-mas)^squared is the real meaning of the fake season of gift-receiving.

  1. eXtreme eXtortion na MAS MASaya: it’s the NPA “give us money or else” mentality that’s inherent in all native Pinoys. Visit ninongs and ninangs expecting cash and fake Rolex watches.
  2. eXcessive eXtravagance na MAS MASagana: it’s a season for bragging about how great a gift we either gave or received, posting it all over Facebook and making huge banners with the faces of epal donors/politicians.
  3. eXtensive eXploitation na MAS MASarap: it’s the business world’s dream come true when they can expect sky-rocketing sales sucking up all the struggling OFWs hard-earned cash.

In a country where fake news, fake heroes, and even fake vaccines abound, we just have to face the fact that what we are about to celebrate is anything but the birth of the Christ.

Parable of the invisible birthday boy

A little toddler invited neighbors and friends to come to his birthday party. The food, tables and decors were all set when guests came pouring in. Oddly, the boy just sat in a corner, cone-shaped party hat in place, looking all around as people greeted and hugged each other, with no one noticing he even existed. Then finally came gift giving time. To his amazement, everyone just started exchanging gifts. The toddler didn’t receive a single present to open up. After all the guests had left, the boy asked his mum “What was that all about?”

OFWs and Pasko

There was an OFW I know who came to his hometown for vacation. Then out of the blue, a jeepney full of relatives arrived to greet him. He gave each of them cash bills, yet despite that one even said in disappointment – “Kulang pa sa pamasahe namin ‘to a!

Pasko more accurately stands for “nasaan na PASalubong KO?” This is why many OFWs would rather skip coming home in December just to spare themselves of dishing out too much of their hard-earned savings for undeserving people.

X-ian for Fake Christians

Atheists, Buddhists and Muslims may have a purer heart about the Christmas season; at least they’re intellectually honest and true to what they believe in – that there is “no Christ” and there’s “no special reason” to even be celebrating anything. For a country with 90% claiming to be classified as Christian, maybe the Philippines should be referred to instead as the only predominantly X-ian nation in Asia.

So what’s your plan for Christmas Day this year? Will you even bow down beside your bed and tell the invisible man in the sky “Happy birthday”? If you do believe your DNA was programmed by this intelligent being who claims to be the Christ, at least show some action to match your faith. Otherwise, you really shouldn’t have any qualms about living in the land of the fake.

4 Replies to “Fake X-mas: The Filipino’s most awaited gift-extortion season of the year”

  1. Wow, never seen an article quite as bitter as that from you, zaxx 🙂

    But it’s totally on the mark. Christmas is when the Filipino thinks he can put all his worst behavior on display with the flimsy justification “but it’s Christmas!”. And while we’re on the subject of selfishness, let’s not forget the drunken KTV sessions that persist for at least the next four weeks after Christmas.

    As you said, it wouldn’t be quite so bad if they didn’t pretend to be Christians. Hypocrisy at its most blatant.

  2. Maybe, the Extra Terrestrial Annunakis, who planted their DNA’s on us, were now confused what have happened to the half man half beast, they expected to be their helpers in mining gold.

    As the Christian Bible has stated. Two thousand years had passed, since a God-Man was born to a peasant Virgin. He is the Son of God. He came to teach us about: peace, brotherhood, proper ways to behave with each other, etc…

    Unfortunately, Jesus Christ Birthday, is now “hijacked” by: commercialism, greed and extortion. It is no longer a time for self evaluation, if we have followed his teachings, It is more of materialism , instead spiritualism.

    It is the same situation, when Jesus Christ, drove away the money changers, and all kinds of crooks, in the Jerusalem Temple, stating : “This Temple is a house of prayer. You have made it a Den of Thieves.”

    Christmas time is the time thieves, crooks and extortionists are very active. Time to play their games . I wonder why the priests, bishops, pastors, etc… of the Christian religions are silent on this issue. The sex starved nuns, should come out from the convents to demonstrate , against the “hijacking” of Christmas !

  3. No matter how valuable you are and your ideas, fools will certainly play both of you down, so exclude yourselves from the inflammatory environs of fools.

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