Top 3 Conspiracy Theories About President Aquino

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Davao Mayor Rodrigo “Roddy” Duterte has yet to take the position of president in Malacanang but one can already see how hard the LP is working to put all the blame on him regarding the country’s ills even though President Aquino is still supposed to be the actual president of the Philippines. Oh well, what can we expect from the latter after all? The only thing President Aquino will probably be best remembered for is his utter and complete incompetence, his penchant for taking credit for the achievements of others and, of course, blaming everyone else but himself for his mistakes.

Like I said before, I’m not exactly a supporter of Mayor Duterte and I’m most certainly not fond of his rabid supporters either. However, I still think the man deserves a chance to prove himself considering his impressive track record as mayor of Davao and his ideas and plans for the Philippines are worth looking through what with the potential benefits they can yield. Unfortunately the media allies of the LP are hard at work at demolishing Mayor Duterte’s image even if the man isn’t even the president yet with senseless and sensationalist accusations and, of course, laying at his feet the incompetence of the Aquino Administration.

But enough about Mayor Duterte. He’s not president yet, is he? In fact, while I hate to admit it, when Mayor Duterte finally becomes President Duterte, there are a lot of things I won’t be able to enjoy such as making personal attacks against current president Benigno Simeon “BS” Aquino III. I really didn’t want to resort to this kind of thing and I wanted my works to be less emotional and personal but hey, the only real way you’re going to penetrate the thick, self-entitled skull of someone like President Aquino and the zombies who follow him is through unbearable and overwhelming pain.

So before we all say good riddance to the man himself, here are three ever popular conspiracy theories surrounding the current president which will, more likely than not, be his only “legacy” once he is finally forced to face the consequences of his actions:

“President Aquino Is Gay”

This is by far one of the most common. People who support this theory point out to the fact that President Aquino remains unmarried and will probably remain a bachelor for life all things considered. There is also the question regarding his strange mannerisms which many assume are the “gay” gestures.

However, I’m going to have to pass on this one. I don’t think it’s just a matter of the man’s sexual preferences. I think it’s just President Aquino’s inability to gain the respect of many individuals of both genders.

Truth be told, while the man might have some interest in the same sex, I think his problems lay on a much deeper level. I have met gay people who are more productive, self-efficient and, most importantly, kinder than President Aquino ever was and have more qualifications for being president than he ever did. If anything, I think that President Aquino is simply just a hopeless bachelor who will never find real love in his life because of his self-entitlement and unwillingness to take responsibility for his mistake.

So no, I don’t think he’s gay. I just think that no one out there can really feel anything for the man asides from deep loathing because of his self-centered attitude. To call him “gay” would be more than a little unfair to all the gay people out there who work hard to earn their place in the world and put their hearts into what they do and helping others to earn acceptance and love from others. If anything, President Aquino should simply be called a “loser” whom no one can bring themselves to love.

“President Aquino Is Psychologically Disturbed”

President Aquino has shown quite a lack of empathy for his people. During the height of the Luneta Hostage Crisis where people were killed by a distraught gunman, President Aquino was found on the scene grinning like he was somehow enjoying the horrible killings that were taking place. When Typhoon Haiyan/Yolanda came and devastated the Philippines, he almost never appeared at all even if to just placate the many victims who were left homeless, helpless and hopeless by the storms. Then there was the killing of the SAF 44 which is quite possibly an act of war against the Filipino people which President Aquino has refused to further as he wanted to pass the BBL (which favored the perpetrators of the atrocity) as soon as possible to earn a Nobel Prize. Recently, but certainly not the last, there was the slaying of farmers in Kidapawan which both President Aquino and his LP allies has refused to even acknowledge as it paints them in an extremely negative light.

However, what’s worse is the man’s constant insistence that he is “the best president the Philippines ever had” if his media allies are to be believed. He seems to think that his “Tuwid na Daan” has caused great improvement for the Filipino people even though, if anything, it has caused them only more suffering. Worse still, he seems to be so taken by his own delusions that he challenges Mayor Duterte to “beat his achievements” even though he seems to have no achievements to speak of asides from uniting the Filipino through hatred of himself. If that kind of delusional thinking doesn’t qualify as batshit crazy, I don’t know what does.

“President Aquino Is Mentally Retarded”

President Aquino’s mannerisms are indeed strange. From his strange gait that makes him look like his crotch has been mutilated, his tendency to drool and his penchant to grin at the most inappropriate moments, it does indeed appear that something is wrong with his mental faculties. All in all, this may be the most plausible theory of all considering what academic achievements he has are mostly honorary and his political legacy, asides from that of gross incompetence, is almost just pure delusion.

It’s not that hard to believe that President Aquino is simply a vegetable of a man who is simply taught to say speeches written by other people while everyone else makes his decisions for him.

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17 Comments on “Top 3 Conspiracy Theories About President Aquino”

  1. I have to agree with you, Mr. Grimwald for being clear in denying Penoy as gay, Surely calling him as such is an insult to the LGBT community. They might not even accept him as one of them for in case he is, he might be the ugliest faggot this country ever had. I believe that he is a sicko and a loon altogether for no leader in his right mind would heed to the enemy’s demands even if he has a well- equipped and well-trained army at that. Damn, I can’t wait for July 1 to start!

  2. you can’t really blame us thousands who a lot of you call “Dutertards” right? Being rabid as you said. we have been very patient on “thick self-entitled thick skull” prick of president for so long

    1. Indeed, I do not blame you. However, I recommend that you keep your wits about you. The LP may have more planned that we don’t know yet.

      Best be vigilant and ready when it happens.

  3. There’s only one conspiracy: the “Bamboo Network” —made up of Chekwa-owned businesses and their well-greased political oligarchs. How else did Henry Sy of SM Malls become a $14 billion man, and the Aquinos/Cojuancos family the most powerful political dynasty in the last 30 years?

    Fliptards need to wake up from their delusions that the EDSA Revolution was a success, and designed to save the people from the tyranny and oppression of Martial Law; it was actually the other way around.

    The “People Power” was meant to disorient, divide, and brainwash the masses towards wanton freedom and material pursuits, as long as they subject themselves to become a feudal society of serfs–in their own country and abroad as OFWs–to fuel the “Bamboo Network” that will eventually swallow up their entire nation.

    Fliptards are so fucking proud and just as equally stupid. They would rather live their lives as individually proud motherfuckers, instead of humbly setting their personal interests and differences aside, to unite and fight this “Bamboo Network” conspiracy.

    Fuck all of us Fliptards. We deserve everything we got.

  4. First, I judge a book by its cover before I read it. Then, I judge the book by its content after I read it. Finally, I judge the author on why he wrote the book in the first place. This is how you read a book.

  5. On a sort-of positive note, I guess one good thing about the AbNoy administration is that it gave us one hell of a comedy show due to all the mishaps and stupidity they have shown, regardless whether you wanna laugh or get mad at it…….

    And speaking of him being mentally-retarded, I’d say he is a disgrace even to people who are truly mentally-retarded. I guess you just can’t classify him in one thing or another because no matter which place you put him in, he will always be a disgrace that you just wanna wish he (or his whole clan) should have not existed in the first place or siphon his remaining life force then give it to a more beloved someone or use it to revive, say, Jose Rizal, Lee Kuan Yew, or Deng Xiaoping.

  6. Why not call a “spade a dirty shovel”? Aquino is Gay. All his exertion and struggle, to hide his sexual orientation failed. Because, his moves and his not being able to find a wife, is showing: he prefers men. Can you see his closeness, with that corrupt Police, Purisima ?

    Aquino is also suffering from depression; paranoia , anxiety, and other symptoms of a mentally ill person. He cannot handle stress. This is the reason, he cannot be found, during the Luneta Chinese Hostage Crisis. In the Yolanda Typhoon crisis; he was nowhere. In the Mamapasano massacre; he went to a car factory opening. His decisions showed a mentally unstable person.

    Aquino is mentally retarded. He cannot function, without people, doing the job for him. Just look at his performance in his work, as President. If Pacquiao would be compared to Aquino. Pacquiao is better, because, he became a World Boxing champion. Although, I will never vote for Pacquiao, even as a Barangay Captain…

    Aquino is a Boy trapped in a Man’s body ! Maybe, the late ,Cory Aquino, spoiled rotten him as his only son ! And, the Boy Man never had to work, for a living. Everything was handled to him on a “silver platter”…

    1. There will be no benigno aquino IV, wahoo! No more aquinos!!!

      Sandro might enter politics, but he’s just too handsome and privileged. Eventually the old generation would die and I think it’s still the Marcoses who would have the last laugh.

      My only issue with generational politicians is they’re just too privileged and out of touch with the true plight of Juan de la crux. For me, our public servants should be truly able to emphatise and relate to them.

      Although they vilify him, I think only Marcos and magsaysay were the only presidents who truly could relate to the common Filipino.

    2. Aquino is nothing but a richly pampered, closet homosexual who doesn’t want to come out for fear of hurting his family reputation and political career. It’s that simple.

  7. A very well written article and I agree with every word. A agree to what you said that Aquino is gay. Being gay is never the reason for any man to be a hopeless case, not to mention a pathetic and delusional one like Aquino. Many gay people live a normal life and become quite successful in things they do. They are the most unjudgmental and hardworking people, who love whatever they do and view the world in a completely beautiful way. Aquino is nothing but a person with a dark way of looking a the whole world, with anger that erases any love and compassion that exist in all of us, with arrogance that makes him blames the past, the present and even the future events that many would embrace as lessons learned and wisdom acquired. He has none of these human emotions that make any man a human being.

  8. I would have believe what the writer and those COMAINTATORS are saying — if and only IF they have BALLS to user their REAL NAMES and not hide under pseudonyms. People like this are COWARDS NON PAREIL and must even be given the time of day. I am a REAL PERSON, KUMAG. And my name is for real… UNLIKE YOU ALL COWARDS, YOU!

    1. Nah, YOU my good sir are just too lazy to deduct or even just guess our identities! Isn’t it obvious to you who I am?

      Typical Pinoy who wants everything spoonfed to him…

    2. Boycee Fernando,

      Bitch, it’s not the messenger’s name that’s important; it’s the message. You obviously don’t have anything important to talk about except tell us how big your balls are. That’s a typical “Kanto Boy” mentality: too much pride and not enough brain. No wonder your country is fully fucked up. You put too much importance on your name and not enough in your action.

      Aeta

  9. The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic.

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