My take on Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach’s quest to find a boyfriend

Reigning Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach expressed her dismay at being loveless at the moment. When asked the question, “If there is one thing she could change in this world, what would it be?” her response was not the standard “To bring world peace” but it was rather, more personal. In her own words, she said “Na sana hindi na ako #TeamSawi”. Sawi means unfortunate or miserable in English. Of course she was referring to her love life. Her wish was for herself, to be out of the lonely-hearts club. She doesn’t have a boyfriend at the moment and she wants to change that.

Pia Wurtzbach wants out of the Lonely Hearts Club.

Pia Wurtzbach wants out of the Lonely Hearts Club.

A lot of people find it hard to believe that a beautiful woman like Miss Wurtzbach doesn’t have a boyfriend but, ironically, that could be part of the reason why she is still unattached to someone. Sometimes men assume that a beautiful woman is already taken or is out of their league, which is why they don’t even think of approaching her. A woman who looks perfect can make some men feel insecure.

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To the average man, a beautiful woman can be intimidating or could mean hard work. It could be because men tend to make a lot of assumptions about beautiful women like perhaps she could be a diva or high-maintenance particularly if the woman has been crowned the most beautiful woman in the universe.

Only men who are bold and brave enough to take risks or aren’t afraid of rejection try to make the moves on beautiful women. As a wise man once said, you will never get to dance with a beautiful woman unless you ask her. Just like with most things in life, when it comes to courtship, it is a gamble – sometimes a man will win, sometimes he will lose. It all depends on how he plays his cards. A man might get a woman’s attention through his looks or money but the only way he can keep her is if he has an easy-going and amiable personality. A man who is too stuck-up will send the right woman scurrying off.

Having the right amount of sex appeal is also important. A woman might have a pretty face and nice body but if her personality is as flat as a board, she won’t be appealing. Conversations with such a woman would be full of uncomfortable silences. Men would simply see her as something as useful as a trophy on a mantelpiece. This theory is also applicable to men. That’s why they say looks aren’t everything. An average looking person oozing with sex appeal would be luckier in love than someone who is physically attractive but boring.

The truth is, compared to average looking people; it can be tougher for people blessed by genetics with good looks to find someone who can see beyond their appearance – someone who will love them not just for their looks but also for their personality.

Miss Wurtzbach comes across as someone who is smarter and more articulate than the average beauty pageant contestant but that could be part of the problem as well. Some men prefer that women be seen, not heard. Only real men can handle strong women but, nowadays, there aren’t a lot of real men available for such women. There seems to be an abundance of men who are too weak and sensitive to a woman with an opinion.

Miss Wurtzbach should play her cards right. She should be careful not to sound too desperate for a boyfriend. She might attract the wrong suitors. In the same interview, she also made it known that she has a crush on a particular man – a journalist named Atom Araullo. I don’t think it was a good idea for her to let the whole world know she has a crush on Araullo. Some people might think she is too shallow. Courtship is a tricky business. Honesty is nice but some information can make the object of her affection feel uncomfortable. It all depends on how he feels about her.

It’s been said that men in general prefer to be challenged. They like the thrill of the chase. A man who knows that a woman has a crush on him might find the whole situation too easy if not a complete turn off. Let’s just hope that this Araullo guy would not think it’s a bit creepy that Miss Universe has a crush on him. He looks like a gentleman who wouldn’t say anything rude about her or her revelation anyway. As a general rule, women should avoid letting it be known that she has a crush on a man just in case he turns out to be an asshole.

Most people including confidently beautiful women love receiving compliments. Compliments whether directed at our appearance or our work is a form of validation of our very existence. Anybody can give you a compliment but a compliment coming from someone you have a crush on is like a drug that can put you in a state of euphoria. It can be addictive. The constant reinforcement of our own ego feels good.

However, the minute you stop getting compliments from that person, it can send you crashing down. It can make you behave in an irrational manner. Feelings of jealousy, inadequacy and mistrust can creep in. This doesn’t just happen to women exclusively. It can happen to men as well. When you hear about someone behaving like a lunatic, it could be because of a broken heart. It is not a good situation to be in. We should all avoid being in that situation at all cost. Sometimes what we think is a broken heart could be just our bruised ego.

Miss Wurtzbach should be careful what she wishes for. She is on top of the world right now and should enjoy being unattached. Her reign as Miss Universe will not last forever and being with the wrong man can be a showstopper. Sometimes being alone can be better than being with a douchebag. God forbid she meets someone who will try to change and control her. Some men mask their own insecurity by putting their loved ones down, being cruel by making the woman feel small. A man’s hurtful words and put downs work like a chisel; it chips away a woman’s confidence until it is gone. Once a woman’s confidence is gone, she will lose her independence and could end up clinging to the relationship even when the man is abusive. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Miss Wurtzbach could be forgiven for thinking that a boyfriend could help her fill a void in her life and make her feel less sawi or miserable about her love life. After all, it would be nice if she had someone else to share all the wonderful experiences she is having right now. But the truth is, being comfortable on our own is good too. The best time to be in a relationship is when we reach a state where we are confident about ourselves to the point that whatever criticism we receive from anyone will not affect us negatively. That’s when our genuine self-confidence and self-awareness will radiate from inside us and attract the right person.

23 Replies to “My take on Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach’s quest to find a boyfriend”

    1. That depends on a lot of things, really. Like if I want to the dance to the music they are playing or if I am available. Having said that, sure, it’s just a dance anyway.

      But as a general rule, I try to avoid “dancing” with men I meet online. 😉

  1. Somehow, I disagree on this article. Is it really a big deal if a man knows that a woman has an affection on him? Unless, in a country where remained in a primitive mindset, where dueled with judgemental people will do. I’m not be that fully liberated thing, but, women should try to hide her feeling co’z if she’s not, what? About the virgin-whore complex? Mayron ngang mga babae dyan na halos pinatalun sa bangin ang manliligaw, pavirgin, anyare sa pagpasok na ng relasyon hanggang kasal? binigay ang lahat walang tinira sa sarili, walang career, kahit may kabit ang asawa o inaabuso na, nagbulag-bulagan pa rin, ginagawang sugar daddy ang asawa imbes lover o partner, walang pambili ultimo sariling napkin unless kung hihingi siya ng pera sa husband, total palamunin. See, what I mean is, it’s not just virginity and the hard to get syndrome can define women’s dignity, it’s more like self-respect and competitiveness for the rest of her life. Sorry for that long rant.

    1. Yup. It makes a big difference for a woman to hold back. A woman should get to know the guy first before she divulges her feelings for him.

    1. Why not? Just because one is married u couldn’t date her? Unless, of course u wanna have sex with her going into the date.

      1. It is inappropriate for a married man to date a single woman. Unless, you want to play a dangerous liaison game.

        1. @Hyden,
          “It is inappropriate for a married woman to date a single man.” => what about this?

          Are you trying to be holier than the pope? Pls move on, get a life and wake up. It happens.

  2. It never crossed to me that she is that desperate, in fact I admire her stand that her boyfriend right now is the Miss Universe. She was just riding with the “atom” thing as she is being teased in the interview with him & ABS people, always searching fora Love team. She is so focused with her duties and her schedule is tight, love has to wait. She knew her priorities and the compliments that comes as with the crown. The compliment from a man, a flirt, is different…at this point it will not be noticed.

    1. @Robert Haighton:

      No , I’m not trying to become “holier than thou”…but , I love my wife and children. My parents brought me up, with these proper values and conduct…and I treasure them…

      1. @Hyden,
        during puberty, my parents told me NOT to make any girl slash my first/future girlfriend pregnant. If I would do that, they would kick me out of the house and they would disinherit me. That had nothing to do with values but with being practical. Making a girl/girlfriend pregnant ruins both our lives.

        We come from a total different view (culture) about life. We (girl and boy) go to school and then find a job and be successfull in that job. That is the only way to have a comfortable life.

        Does that mean there is no sex at all? Yes, there is sexual intercourse. But Always with one thought in mind: dont out the other in a “corner”. And even when a girl/girlfriend is cornered (pregnant) we still can rely on having an abortion. But also that is something you dont want to go through at a young age.

        In short: no values. Just plain being practical and cautious.

        In poor(er) families (in my country) you see the exact opposite behavior. They (dad & mom) embrace it when their 16+ year old daughter is pregnant. A child that’s raising a child.

        “holier than thou” => if “thou” refers to me than I can tell you that I am not at all holy. I am practical.

        I am happy for you that you love your partner and your kids. I take it, they do love you as well. Cherish it.

        1. @Robert Haighton:

          My wife comes from Wales, U.K. We have different cultures, but , have the same values. Her family is conservative and religious. I am the opposite.

          Opposite attracts, like the magnet.

  3. I think perhaps love comes from finding someone you feel utterly comfortable with, someone who makes you comfortable with yourself. It’s like…finding yourself, or maybe it’s like finding the other part of yourself.

  4. “Love does not dominate, it cultivates.” – Goethe

    “To love is to will the good of the other.” – St Thomas Aquinas

    As well as the 2d reading of the Sunday Mass today, from 1 Cor 12

    most of us, being the selfish self-centred narcissistic moneygrubbing bellyaching whingers that we tend to be, think we know all there is about love, but it’s only our selfish interests that we’re after.
    True love consists of sacrificing our vested interests for the sake of our beloved.
    Only the other matters.

    1. @Walter,
      I am a bit lost now. Can you please elaborate on your statement? I like to think that I know what love is and how it should be expressed (no, not the physical love per se).

      For me “true love” is not a sacrifice. But I cant always spend all my time on (my beloved) others.

  5. love is about putting the interests of others ahead of our own. it means we find our true joy and fulfillment when we seek that of others.
    and a correction: that 2d reading should have been from 1 Cor: 13, esp the part about ‘love rejoices in the truth’…
    or try listening to that classic tune by Jimmy Durante, it’s on YouTube: “Make Someone Happy.”

  6. she hasn’t found the right `western man`!…and yes, she sounds desperate to find a bf then, but now it looks like she has found a catch in `the sexiest doctor`..desperation does pay…

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