Again, I would like to state that “Minsan May Isang Puta” and “Ang Putak Ng Anak Ng Puta” both belong to Mike Portes. I take no credit for them of any kind. This article is just another homage to his works.
|SUPPORT INDEPENDENT SOCIAL COMMENTARY!|
Subscribe to our Substack community GRP Insider to receive by email our in-depth free weekly newsletter. Opt into a paid subscription and you'll get premium insider briefs and insights from us daily.
Subscribe to our Substack newsletter, GRP Insider!
Are you hungry? Come, let’s eat at that restaurant over there called Jollibee. My children talk a lot about you, you know?
Have you ordered anything yet? Okay, let’s sit over here.
You know, I have always been curious why this establishment is called Jollibee even though they don’t serve honey…
Anyway, I heard Mother Russia came to visit you the other night. Scary woman, isn’t she? She’s so big and powerful that I feel like a twig in comparison. But Sam’s not afraid of her. She’d probably never admit it but she’s a little afraid of Sam too.
Oh, don’t you know me? I guess you’ve forgotten. I’ve changed a lot since I first met your children. I didn’t even know how to speak English until your children started teaching me. You’re children have helped me along with many other friends of Sam since I parted ways with my sister decades ago. Do you recognize me now?
My sister and I used to live in peace together far to the north. We mostly kept to ourselves back then and we didn’t really get along with our neighbors that well. But of course, at the time, it didn’t really matter. My sister and I had each other and, before the troubles came, we were happy living apart from the rest of the world.
Then war came. Japan came and held both of us their prisoners. She made us our slaves and, for years to come, our children worked and died to make Japan rich. Yes, we talk like friends now I guess, but part of me still finds it hard to forgive Japan for everything she did all those years ago. Much of the terrible things that happened later could probably be traced back to what happened all those many years ago when my sister and I were forced to watch Japan take everything away from us, our happiness, our children, our womanhood.
Oh, was I being too nostalgic again? Sorry, I just miss my sister that’s all.
Anyway, it was after that war that I first got to meet your children. It was then, just after the war, that I first met your children. At the time, Russia did not seem to be content with her victory. She wanted more and, with China as her new friend, they decided to take territories for their own just as their former enemies Japan, Germany and Italy did. But just before Russia and her new friends could claim me and my sister, Sam came to the rescue. Sam and a lot of his friends, including your children, came to help me and my sister in our hour of need.
I remember your children, you know. I remember them very well along with those others who came to save us. They were so brave. But even then, their courage wasn’t enough to make a complete victory. In the end, Sam and his friends only managed to save me. My sister was left behind at the mercy of Russia and China and a new leader to follow. Ever since, we’ve spoken very little and what few conversations we have are rarely pleasant.
After all that happened, I found that I was poor. Life was already somewhat hard before the wars came but it would be even harder without my sister. Sam was there to help though and for that I was grateful.
In those days, when I could barely scratch a living for my children, Sam talked a lot about you. He told me that you were very beautiful and it still shows. You are every bit as beautiful as he said you’d be.
Anyway, life was very hard for me in those days and I had to work really hard to feed my children. We were almost always hungry and there were nights when I would simply cry, not knowing what to do anymore. But one of my sons, Syngman Rhee said to me that if I wanted the best for my family, I would have to make sacrifices to better the future of my children and so I did. I worked hard with my other children and I encouraged them to stop fighting between themselves and simply work together for our future.
Then a miracle happened. To this day, even I am still stunned by just how far I got with hard work. In the span of just a few decades, I began to get rich. My children became healthier, stronger, smarter and happier in just less than fifty years.
While I was happy with how rich I’d gotten, I still wanted to speak to my sister and share all the money and food I’d accumulated over the past few years with her. I was hoping for a happy reunion. I was hoping to hug her again and tell her that everything was okay now. We were rich, happy and healthy and that was all that mattered. But alas, my sister had changed. All the hardship she’d had to endure at the hands of Japan, Russia and the family of leaders who enslaved her had changed her into something terrible.
When I came to speak to her, she spat in my face and called me a traitor. She said that I betrayed her for Sam and that it was I who sold her into slavery. When I tried to give her food and money, the food and money I’d earned in the previous decades, she hurled them back at me saying that she didn’t need them. She said that she didn’t need the pity of a traitor and that what I was probably giving her was loaded with “capitalist poison”.
It broke my heart to see what she had turned into. She was so thin by then. She was mostly just skin and bones. Her face, which I remembered to be so bright and beautiful looked so much like a skull. Her arms and legs were like breadsticks and I could see her ribs poking through her chest. Still, she would not accept anything that I tried to give her. She would either throw them away or trample them underneath her bony feet.
I honestly don’t know what those bastard Kims did to her but she worshiped them like gods. It was like they were the only things giving her light in this dark world when it was so clear that it was only dark because they’d put a blind over her eyes. They turned her against me and I was frightened by how much she hated me now.
She built a fence between us made through miles after mile of barbed wire and landmines. She said to me that the sister I knew was dead and that she had no sister.
Am I crying? Oh, I’m so sorry. It just brings me to tears when I remember her. There was so much we could’ve done together.
Anyway, many of your children come to me for work and many of my children come to visit you to learn how to speak English so I thought maybe I could tell you something important. You are beautiful, you are as beautiful as Sam said you were and you still are today. I do not know what some of your more silly children have done to you but don’t let them take that away from you. Also stop putting your trust in men who all have the same last name.
My sister has been under the oppressive rule of this Kim family for so many years that I doubt she knows anything else. But please, you are not like her yet. You can still choose someone better to take care of your children. Your future is still in your hands. Many years ago, I was poorer than you and my children were starving. You can be rich too, you know. Just put your heart into it and be willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. If you do that, maybe someday you’ll be surprised as I am at how far you’d gotten.
I have to go now. My sister won’t talk to me anymore but I’m hoping that maybe someday she’ll come to her senses and we can be sisters again.
P.S.: I’ll be watching The Interview with my children later tonight. If you want to join us, we’d be happy to have company. My sister seems to hate it but I like it just fine with how stupid they make that fat boy Jong Un.
I HAVE RETURNED TO LAY WASTE TO OUR ENEMIES!