A reminder to Filipinos – the cardinal rules of the House of Aquino

Is it just me, or a growing number of Filipino citizens are becoming more dissatisfied with president Benigno Simeon Aquino III’s (BS Aquino) performance as time passes by? Those who are dissatisfied claim that nothing much has changed. BS Aquino apparently still hasn’t managed to reduce poverty despite his “kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap“ guiding principle. He’s supposedly jailed the one he thinks is the “biggest fish” among those he deems as corrupt, but corruption remains the same. BS Aquino supposedly favors his KKK’s and relentlessly persecutes his enemies without giving them due process. BS Aquino’s alleged ultimate goal is to secure Hacienda Luisnoynoy_coronaita before 2014 when it is subject to the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP).

Unfortunately, for the dissatisfied, BS Aquino is the man until he steps down in 2016. While he’s up there, the House of Aquino is the ruling dynasty. Their house, their rules.

Speaking of rules, though Filipinos are wont to disobey them anyway, the House of Aquino has a list of unwritten cardinal rules that every Filipino must obey without question. Filipinos would do best to know these rules by heart (isapuso) and live out these rules (isabuhay) so that they can find their way on the straight path (daang matuwid).

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Thou shall not give bad news about Noynoy’s government.

If you’re a Filipino living with or working for BS Aquino’s government, you can forget all other laws and rules, but not this one.

Apparently, someone forget to remind the National Statistics Coordination Board (NSCB) of this when they released their report last week, which indicated that the percentage of Filipinos living below the poverty line remained practically the same between 2006 and 2012.

We can only imagine that BS Aquino was none too pleased with the report. In fact, he even went as far as to question the data used. “Are you comparing apples to apples?”, he said in referring to what was a seeming discrepancy in the data used for a particular region, the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM)..

Every time BS Aquino is displeased with something, someone is usually on the other end receiving the brunt of it. This time, it happened to be none other than National Economic Development Authority head and Economic Planning secretary Arsenio Balisacan. Rumors went around that due to this displeasure, he was not included in BS Aquino’s recent Brunei trip. Poor guy; but hope is not lost for him. There is no announcement yet that Balisacan will be sacked – for now.

Thou shall not find fault with Noynoy in any way, shape or form.

Never blame BS Aquino for anything that goes wrong. That is a no-no. There’s plenty of blame to go around for Gloria Arroyo (GMA), or to the people themselves. The worsening Mindanao power situation is GMA’s fault. The people who were affected by typhoons Pablo and Sendong in the south only have themselves to blame for not listening to BS Aquino’s government.

Remember, BS Aquino has only had three (3) years as president. It is a difficult job that nobody in his/her right mind can say that they will be 100% prepared for. On-the-job learning is inevitable; the presidency gets unique situations thrown at it everyday. Also remember, that being a president, owing to its uniqueness, is like starting with a blank slate; I guess in that regard, BS Aquino was the one most qualified for the job among the candidates last 2010. He has had nothing but a blank slate ever since.

Well, if you think about it, it’s really hard to find fault with Noynoy because he hasn’t really accomplished much in his life anyway.

Thou shall not stop Noynoy from opening his mouth.

It’s how he does his best thinking. Whether it’s through campaigning, allegedly “negative” for the Liberal Party (LP) instead of working, or when he’s talking about his many kabuwisitans that he says keeps him from doing his job, BS Aquino has to keep his mouth open. Even when he backtracks on his statements, like he did with the NSCB poverty report, where he had concerns more with the timing than the data, just let him be. Noynoy is just being himself; he is not afraid to express how he feels about things which displease him. And because his facial expressions are limited anyway.

BS Aquino with the open mouth, apparently, is the look that suits him best. Just ask the Philippine Daily Inquirer; they thought so too when they published what they thought was a Time magazine cover of BS Aquino.

So how hard is it to obey these cardinal rules for Filipinos? Not very. BS Aquino not only represents Filipinos, he is the quintessential Filipino. Actually, these cardinal rules not only apply to the House of Aquino, but to Filipinos in general too.

Remember these rules well, if you want to survive in Filipino society.

24 Replies to “A reminder to Filipinos – the cardinal rules of the House of Aquino”

  1. Ganun ba? Hindi bale na! Pupunitin ko ang dilaw na ribbon at bubunutin ko ang ITAK! Hindi ako palulupig sa isanb ABNORMAL na OLIGARKIYA!

  2. Hah, this one’s a funny blog, FallenAngel. Kudos to you, you made my day 😀

    Well, I’ll start the countdown for ya. Noytards will rant and appear in 5..4..3..2..

    1. No need to do a countdown anymore, the noytard eduardo has already been effectively banished PERMANENTLY by benign0.
      He won’t show his retarded mug here anymore.

  3. We are free to write the truth about the corrupt Aquino administration. If you work for him, it’s your choice. Aquino suffers from Depression. He is the most lazy and the most coward President, I’ve seen. He is only concerned about his Hacienda Luisita, which his family swindled from the Philippine government.

    1. yah right Hyden Toro. We’re just carried on by our emotion due to sugarcoated campaign which we know for a fact that it wont last. Magaling lang sa simula. But habang tumatagal nawawala

  4. Growing number is an understatement. Every taxi, jeepney and PUV driver I’ve talked with considers the Aquino Admin a failure. You think other poor people like him? Guess again. No wonder many people are questioning his victory in 2010.


  5. I have come to terms that a lot of people caught the ‘Yellow Fever’ or had a whiff of the ‘Cory Magic’ back in 2010…myself included. Well, it was between that or pareng Erap again. Looking forward to 2026, it looks like the Dark One (Binay) will take over the reigns. We really deserve our leaders.

  6. ‘Never tell the truth’

    P-noy “in the pink of health”! according to lacierda.
    Obviously knows as much about medicine as p-noy knows about economics.
    Early signs of COPD. Would bet my iron lung on it.
    It’s all over bar the coughing.

  7. Since eduardo is no longer allowed here, let me see if I can predict what he would say:

    eduardo: {insert ad hominem here) (insert useless propaganda here) (insert stupid rant here) (insert blame GMA spiel here)

    1. That is why he is no longer allowed here. He CONSISTENTLY offers no new information or insight (the latter being the more important of the two) and is therefore predictable and, as such, provides no further added value to this forum.

      1. I guess eduardo has officially been kicked out of GRP.
        I hope that we will never see him or his kin post recycled propaganda here.
        It really boggles my mind why idiots like eduardo keep insisting that their beloved pwesident is still clean when in fact he is more corrupt than the previous presidents that we had.

        1. Thgey’ll surely come back in some other form/name. Perhaps if whoever is behind them assigns someone with a bit more brain and originality instead of these parrots who merely read off standardised scripts, then they stand a better chance of being treated like real people here.

        2. I seriously doubt that happening Benign0, the malacanang mis-communications group is clearly understaffed and too incompetent to hire people that are more competent than they are.

  8. I believe that come 2016, people will be very unsatisfied with aquino that they’ll vote someone else that has no “aquino” as his last name.
    If BBM runs for 2016, he’ll be a better alternative than
    Kris “I have STD” Aquino.
    Although, it remains to be seen if Aquino will last till 2016 since the “silent majority” is already getting more and more vocal.

    1. I would really be very happy if by 2016 no Aquino would run or be voted into office but I have serious doubts about that… remember the PCOS and they are as early as now laying the foundation for sure wins of their allies and minions this May elections in preparation for 2016 presidential election…

      1. P-noy may not be the sharpest tool in the box but the cojuangcos are and everything is well planned years ahead especially with their financial and power base still at stake – hacienda luisita. Without that ( which they stole) they are nothing and they know it.
        The opportunity now will not be given up and i even doubt that power would be ceded to mar roxas – always the bridesmaid, never the bride, but too dumb and weak to even see it coming.
        Bam aquino is being fast tracked and media personnel confirm that his election at a high number could influence 2016 strategy and all the stops are being pulled out for him not just to win but win well. ( essential to the brand) – ? Vp or ? In 2016/2022
        Kris aquino is waiting in the wings.

  9. it is surprising that after every single election, and all the bull-shit promises that have not been kept, and not a single G.D. thing has changed that people are still expecting anything from the leaders of the country other than lies, and rampant corruption, theft of what is rightfully the peoples’. How many times are people going to fall for the same shit, it should be asked.Each and every election has yielded the same result without exception. Maybe a different head, but the same sorry-ass body.

    predictions at this point are only TOO obvious.

    Where has the Virtual Vigilante been? He usually has a good idea or two….

  10. “Every time BS Aquino is displeased with something, someone is usually on the other end receiving the brunt of it. “- so true. After some Super Typhoon he fired (or had fired) some guy in Pag-asa. hasn’t this guy ever heard the expression lead by example. Oh yeah, the guy was never good at anything. To make himself look good he rips others a new one . Feed his insecurity as this limp wristed, limp membered wimp.

    1. So true, but the guy doesn’t have much to work with. If Aquino really tried to clean-up the massive theft in, say, the electricity speculating sector that has driven the price to the worlds highest electricity rates. He would get shot, there is simply way too much money involved and way too many thieves with their sa-ly-mee hands in the pie that surely more than a few of them would get severely dis-jointed emotionally and go off on the guy. Besides he is in on the deal, ever hear his excuse “I can not do anything about it!”?…HA!!! He knows what will happen if he does do something about it that is un-popular with the board of directors. ITS a given that he remembers very well what happened to his Dad ( A REAL MAN).

  11. here’s something that i posted in AP..

    “Noynoy Facts” like Chuck Norris facts? some of it i made some were are from chucknorrisfacts

    – Noynoy doesn’t know economy, economy knows Noynoy.
    – When Noynoy is having a drinking session, the liquor gets intoxicated.
    – Noynoy can unscramble an egg.
    – Noynoy doesn’t look for fun. The fun is looking for Noynoy.
    – The truth can’t handle Noynoy.
    – Out of 10 Noynoys statement, 11 are correct.
    – Noynoy is not the Chuck Norris of Da Pinas, its Chuck who is the Noynoy of the world. Noynoy is freagin awesome!
    – Only Noynoy can turn a pussy economy into a tiger economy while having drinking session and dating chiks and over night.
    – If at first you don’t succeed, YOU OBVIOUSLY ARN’T Noynoy. Hell, Noynoy can succeed w.out even trying.
    – Noynoy’s action is faster than his brain. His action has a brain of its own.
    – Noynoy is a chick magnet!
    – Noynoy is God’s gift to women.
    – Noynoy email address is yahoo@noynoy.com
    – Noynoy can run iPhone apps in his Blackberry.
    – When writing NOYNOY AQUINO’s name. You must write with caps lock on. NOYNOY AQUINO’s is so awesome.
    – Who among the leaders can drive the economy up high doing nothing? Only Noynoy can and single handedly did it.
    – Noynoy doesn’t need to campaign, the campaign needs him.
    – A student is no better than his teacher. not for Noynoy! he even jailed his teacher.
    – Noynoy don’t turn water into wine. why would he? if he can turn it to cognac.
    – Noynoy is not afraid of cancer from smoking, the cigarette he smokes does.
    – Noynoy can light his cigarette before he even think about it.
    – Noynoy cigarette does the smoking for him.
    – Noynoy’s manhood is freagin awesome – just look at his chicks! he’s 50s his chicks are in the 20s. what’a a guy! he’s ooozing with charm..
    – Noynoy trades in PSE on weekend.
    – Only Noynoy can amass the markets money.
    – Noynoy can short bullish stocks.
    – Noynoy takes profit lower than his entry price.
    – Noynoy doesn’t speculate the market, the market speculates him! (yes he’s that AWESOME!)
    – Even before Noynoy thinks of what stocks to pick, figures and graphs suddenly turns green for those particular stocks he’s about to think of getting.
    – Noynoy BS Homer Simpson Aquino is freagin AWESOME!

  12. Mr. President, Pls. clean our government by eliminating corrupt public officials and employees, elected officials as well. hindi natin kailangan mag ipon ng mag ipon ng pera para sumikat,wag natin kalimutan na ang ating buhay ay umiiksi ng umiiksi habang tayo ay humihinga minuminuto, parang awa nyo na.

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