The physics of Noynoying

I do not think President Noynoy Aquino (PNoy) is entirely devoid of any scientific knowledge. I am inclined to think that he has a firm grasp of physics. In fact, Noynoying has its own set of principles to explain itself as a seemingly natural phenomenon.

PNoy has his own fundamental laws of motion. If Newton’s laws form the basis for classical mechanics, Noynoy’s laws form the basis for his presidency. Just as Newton has three, so does Noynoy.

Let’s get to them below, shall we?

1. A body at rest shall forever remain at rest, regardless of how many forces there are that compel it to move.

This is by far, the law of motion that best encapsulates both Juan Tamad and Noynoying. It explains the lack of results in PNoy’s presidency. Most of all, it explains why Filipinos’ living conditions will never improve.

2. The force exerted on a body is equal to the product of the mass of people who agree with an idea, and the appeal or popularity it has with them.

Force equals mass appeal. This is expressed in the equation F=ma.

Rephrasing this law, we get the almost cliché statement that Filipinos will never get tired of hearing and spewing: Popular support for an idea necessarily makes it right.

This law is the very reason that Pnoy ran for the presidency in the first place. Your mileage may vary on whether he was coerced or bullied by the yellow mob into running, but fact is he gave in anyway. Oh, and this is also the reason he won.

We see this law at work again in CJ Corona’s impeachment trial. By Noynoy’s word, CJ is corrupt, therefore he must be removed. The Filipinos lap it up, like dogs.

3. For every action, there is an equal and opposite inaction.

Examples below:

a) Pnoy and his cabinet are finally getting to work on the Mindanao power situation – after almost 2 years since it was brought to their attention.

b) PNoy says he will not comment anymore on CJ Corona’s impeachment trial – yet the survey stations owned by his family do it for him.

Aside from the laws of motion mentioned above, Noynoying physics is guided by two additional principles:

Noynoy’s principle of conservation of energy: Pnoy’s energy is neither created nor destroyed; it is always conserved.

PNoy’s energy is best conserved for, and spent, playing video games, going shooting, drinking with his buddies, and going out with his women. Why waste it on impossible tasks such as, say, running the country?

Noynoy’s principle of free fall: What goes up will never come down.

Have fun with this one. Talk about rising prices of fuel and basic commodities, and most recently, power rates. If PNoy has his way with the Supreme Court, Hacienda Luisita’s price will never come down. Perhaps it is not a stretch to say that Pnoy and his cronies want to forever stay in power. After all, they’ve had not only a taste of power, they’ve been drinking it by the gallon for the past 3 decades.

Kung gusto nga naman, may paraan… (If there’s a will, there’s always a way)

I guess we could even say that PNoy has adopted both western and eastern methods of thinking. His laws of motion above are derived from western style of thought; his philosophy of pakitang-taoism make up the eastern philosophy part of his thinking.

Speaking of Chinese Taoism, it emphasizes a concept of wu wei. Roughly translated, this means “effortless doing”, or “action without action”. Noynoying and Pakitang-taoism emphasize and emulate only the “effortless” and the “without action” part.

In conclusion, it suffices to say that Noynoy’s presidency is not only doing nothing, it is also nothing doing. 4 more years to go…

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About FallenAngel

А вы, друзья, как ни садитесь, все в музыканты не годитесь. - But you, my friends, however you sit, not all as musicians fit.

34 Comments on “The physics of Noynoying”

  1. I do not know whether to laugh or cry but do we really deserve him? How were his yellow hordes succeeded in manipulating us and make the office of the President seem irrelevant.

    1. Well, whether we deserve him or not, we’re stuck with him. Like a wart. So we need to express our displeasure loud enough that covering his ears a la Aguirre will be useless. And we need to stop making the same mistakes in the future.

    2. Well at least you have a small consolation that you didn’t vote for the guy you may be a victim but not a perpetrator take comfort in that.

  2. Brilliant, positively. Sorry you were shoved out of the headline position.

    I did a paper on thermodynamics in physics. Thermal contact occurs when two substances affect each other’s temperature, as when you hold a JBC meeting and Mr. Corona and Ms. De Lima are both there. Thermal equilibrium is when two substances in thermal contact no longer transfer heat between them, as when President Aquino meets an old girl friend at a party. Thermal expansion takes place when a substance expands volume as it gains heat, as when Senator Santiago somehow appears bigger than life during a rant at the podium. Conduction is when heat flows through a heated solid, as when Trosp finally gets it through his concrete skull that juvenile insults make Filipinos look immature and insecure. Convection is when heated particles transfer heat to another substance, as when all the prostitutes in Angeles City bake foreign bread. Radiation is when heat is transferred through electromagnetic waves, as when ABS-CBN cooks a Supreme Court Chief Justice with a sensationalist broadcast aimed at building ratings. Insulation is when a low-conducting material is used to prevent heat transfer, as when Mr. Aquino surrounds himself with underlings who cocoon him in a different reality.

    Cheers!

    1. According to Maher boy aka Joe America –

      “as when Trosp finally gets it through his concrete skull that juvenile insults make Filipinos look immature and insecure.”

      What I’m doing to this dud is not insulting him – it’s labeling and exposing him for what he is – DISHONEST, plain and simple. (I have proven it from time to time, am I insulting him ?)

      Ulyanin talaga. (Will it be an insult if I can prove it?)

      Which is worse: purveying misinformation out of ignorance or incompetence, or deliberately and maliciously twisting facts to suits one’s agenda.

      Maher boy aka Joe America is all of the above. (Will it be an insult if I can prove it?)

      As I’ve just commented in the other post in this blog –

      “Bakit hindi gawing herbal medicie ang makahiya.

      Para may lunas sa taong makakapal ang mukha.”

    2. And this Maher boy aka Joe America has done a paper on thermodynamics. If what is contained in his paper are those items in his comment, this dud has not written a paper.

      He copied and pasted the basic concepts of heat transfer and, arrogantly, he called it his paper.

      I call it a glaring juvenile insults to comment readers of this blog.

  3. Noynoy’s principle of conservation of energy: Pnoy’s energy is neither created nor destroyed; it is always conserved.

    absolutely brilliant, benigs! spot on!

      1. this sort of thing happens when i go straight to the article (without realizing i didn’t commit to memory who the author is), finish it, and as soon as i get to “Related Posts” i zip past the author and assume i know who the author is.

        really sorry, man.

        gawd i need sleep.

      2. Hahaha. Don’t worry about it. Actually, my inspiration for this piece came from a link posted by benign0, so in a way he’s to thank for it too.

        Get some rest, man. Noytard bashing is a tiring job 😛

  4. Taking fluid mechanics into account, it could be said that the Aquino administration is in a way a non-Newtonian fluid; the more force you exert on it, the more it tends to stick into place; in other words, the more inactive it becomes. A non-Newtonian fluid does not possess a constant coefficient of viscosity, which can be equated to the administration’s lack of definite properties suitable for governance. Perhaps the best way of dealing with the Aquino administration is the same as dealing with the peculiarity of non-Newtonian fluids; reduce the applied stress and apply it somewhere else, like the untapped potential of most of the private sector. There is a chance then, that the government will liquidate from the decrease in stress, and can start dealing with the issues with more efficiency. Or you can just continue applying force until the fluid becomes a quasi-solid, and then apply more force until it actually breaks into pieces. Of course, even non-Newtonian fluids share the exact same properties, so the scenarios I’ve created are but circumstantial. Still, it doesn’t hurt to create such fun analogies.

    As an enthusiast of physics (used to be a Top Contributor on Physics at Yahoo! Answers, together with Chemistry and Mathematics), I enjoyed this article. Thou hast woken up my inner geek. ^^

    1. Perhaps I shall make an article of this nature in the future, involving quantum mechanics and relativity. I’d like to ask for your permission, my friend. ^^

      (Pardon for the Resident Evil references. Fanboy-ism. XD)

      1. By all means. I’m looking forward to it. I held out on more complicated topics such as what you mentioned above because I wasn’t sure if many Filipinos could appreciate…science.

        I wanted to include thermodynamics too. Maybe you can include that as well? 😀

        1. Hm, you have a good point. I’ll think things through.

          I guess I just had an a-geek-aline rush. 😛

    2. Arche, do you play AD&D? I had an idea somewhere along the lines of “If the Filipino were a D&D character…” I’m suggesting it as another topic for you because you may be more into it than I ever was. 😀

      1. Haha, Dungeons and Dragons. Well, although I’ve heard of and seen the game, I haven’t really played it extensively. Thanks for the suggestion, though. 😀

        1. Filipinos as D&D characters will invent a whole new alignment for themselves: Chaotic Stupid

        2. haha! but hey, their morale might be a bit too high (there’s just too many yellow idiots among that alignment, then there are non-yellow idiots too).

  5. Noynoy Aquino is at rest…so he remains at rest…an outside Force from us; like a good KICK on his Rear End, will make him move…this, I’m for sure, will make him move…however, his head is empty: he will move without thinking…this will be worse…

  6. Editor: I’m curious as to why my comment from yesterday was removed. I don’t think it violated the Terms of Service. It was directly pertinent to the topic being discussed and did not use bad language. Nor does this inquiry violate the Terms of Service.

  7. What I can share, to lighten up our day, is a murphylogical epigrams (Murphy’s Laws):

    1. If Penoy has any way of making a mistake, he will.

    2. If there’s more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then Penoy will do it that way.

    3. Penoy leadership: anything that can go wrong, already has, you’re just not aware of it yet!

    4. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, trust Penoy, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.

    5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime Penoy has a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability he’ll get it wrong.

    6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why Lacierda and de Lima appear to be bright until you hear them speak.

    I have one for myself –

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

    Cheers!

    1. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime Penoy has a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability he’ll get it wrong.

      i really like this one.

    2. What can I say, PNoy is indeed a walking incarnation of Murphy’s Law. Aside from that, he follows the path of least resistance.

      1. that gives me an image in my head of pnoy doing a huge bellyflop into a waterless pool. that’s the kind of path of least resistance i’d like him to take. 🙂

  8. Hahahaha! I love the intellectual discourse as much as the article itself! simply put:

    2+2 =/= 4 but whatever I want it to be…

  9. MASARAP YATA MAGLARO NG TONG ITS!…NAKAKA GULANG SA LARO…..KABISA KO NA SI NOY NOY MAHILIG MAG LARO NG DAMA!…MAGANDA ANG SUBJECT NA PHYSICS DI KO AKALAIN MAGIGING BEST IN CLASS AKO NAPILING MABAIT AT MASIGASIG SA PAG AARAL…NGAYON LANG YATA AKO NAGKA MEDAL MATAPOS KO ANG SENIOR YEAR…THEY ALL LOOSER EXCEPT ME…INIYAKAN KO ANG MEDAL NA ITO SABI NI STEP IM A LITTLE BOO!…MERON PA ANG AKING GURO SA PHYSICS AT CHEMISTRY AY SI MRS. A.APOLINARIO MABAIT ITO AT PABORITO AKO AT MRS B.APOLINARIO…MERON AKONG MASAMANG KARANASAN SA CHEMISTRY…KASI MATAAS ANG AKING SCORE SA EXAM AY PINA ULIT ANG AKING EXAM…ANG MALI NITO NAGSASAGOT AKO SA TEST SUKAT DUON AKO NAGTEST SA FACULTY ROOM MADALDAL ANG BIBIG NG MGA TEACHER…ANG MGA THIRD YEAR DAW IKA AY GANITO GANITO GANITO…NAAAPEKTUHAN AKO SA KANYANG SINASABI…KAYA NUNG MATAPOS KO NA MAGSAGOT SABAY IYAK NG MALAKAS! GULAT SILA AT NATAKOT…DI AKO HUMINTO SA KAKAIYAK AT HINDI KO SASAGUTIN ANG KANILANG MGA TANONG…BAHALA SILA!…MAHIRAP ANG CHEMISTRY MAY I SOSOLVE NA FORMULA AT MARAMING MGA SAULOHIN NA ELEMENTS…KINANTA KO LANG NAMAN ANG MGA ELEMENTS NA MEMORIZE KO KAGAD..KAYA ANG SCORE KO SA TEST AY 87…NAGDUDA SI TEACHER…TEST AGAIN!NUON KO NAPATUNAYAN MATALINO PALA AKO…KASI MARAMI AKONG GRADE NA PALAKOL NUNG ELEM…

  10. heloo…ang principal namin sa kasalukuyan sa administration ng jri…ay tuwang tuwa at ikinagagalak ako dhl sa aking pagiging bayani at banal! ang principal po namin ay relihiosa best sila ni mrs a.apolinario…parati kami nagkikita kits sa kapulungan ng mga apostolado ng panalangin…Amen!

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