The physics of Noynoying

I do not think President Noynoy Aquino (PNoy) is entirely devoid of any scientific knowledge. I am inclined to think that he has a firm grasp of physics. In fact, Noynoying has its own set of principles to explain itself as a seemingly natural phenomenon.

PNoy has his own fundamental laws of motion. If Newton’s laws form the basis for classical mechanics, Noynoy’s laws form the basis for his presidency. Just as Newton has three, so does Noynoy.

Let’s get to them below, shall we?

1. A body at rest shall forever remain at rest, regardless of how many forces there are that compel it to move.

This is by far, the law of motion that best encapsulates both Juan Tamad and Noynoying. It explains the lack of results in PNoy’s presidency. Most of all, it explains why Filipinos’ living conditions will never improve.

2. The force exerted on a body is equal to the product of the mass of people who agree with an idea, and the appeal or popularity it has with them.

Force equals mass appeal. This is expressed in the equation F=ma.

Rephrasing this law, we get the almost cliché statement that Filipinos will never get tired of hearing and spewing: Popular support for an idea necessarily makes it right.

This law is the very reason that Pnoy ran for the presidency in the first place. Your mileage may vary on whether he was coerced or bullied by the yellow mob into running, but fact is he gave in anyway. Oh, and this is also the reason he won.

We see this law at work again in CJ Corona’s impeachment trial. By Noynoy’s word, CJ is corrupt, therefore he must be removed. The Filipinos lap it up, like dogs.

3. For every action, there is an equal and opposite inaction.

Examples below:

a) Pnoy and his cabinet are finally getting to work on the Mindanao power situation – after almost 2 years since it was brought to their attention.

b) PNoy says he will not comment anymore on CJ Corona’s impeachment trial – yet the survey stations owned by his family do it for him.

Aside from the laws of motion mentioned above, Noynoying physics is guided by two additional principles:

Noynoy’s principle of conservation of energy: Pnoy’s energy is neither created nor destroyed; it is always conserved.

PNoy’s energy is best conserved for, and spent, playing video games, going shooting, drinking with his buddies, and going out with his women. Why waste it on impossible tasks such as, say, running the country?

Noynoy’s principle of free fall: What goes up will never come down.

Have fun with this one. Talk about rising prices of fuel and basic commodities, and most recently, power rates. If PNoy has his way with the Supreme Court, Hacienda Luisita’s price will never come down. Perhaps it is not a stretch to say that Pnoy and his cronies want to forever stay in power. After all, they’ve had not only a taste of power, they’ve been drinking it by the gallon for the past 3 decades.

Kung gusto nga naman, may paraan… (If there’s a will, there’s always a way)

I guess we could even say that PNoy has adopted both western and eastern methods of thinking. His laws of motion above are derived from western style of thought; his philosophy of pakitang-taoism make up the eastern philosophy part of his thinking.

Speaking of Chinese Taoism, it emphasizes a concept of wu wei. Roughly translated, this means “effortless doing”, or “action without action”. Noynoying and Pakitang-taoism emphasize and emulate only the “effortless” and the “without action” part.

In conclusion, it suffices to say that Noynoy’s presidency is not only doing nothing, it is also nothing doing. 4 more years to go…

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About FallenAngel

А вы, друзья, как ни садитесь, все в музыканты не годитесь. – But you, my friends, however you sit, not all as musicians fit.

Post Author: FallenAngel

А вы, друзья, как ни садитесь, все в музыканты не годитесь. – But you, my friends, however you sit, not all as musicians fit.

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34 Comments on "The physics of Noynoying"

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Alconce
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I do not know whether to laugh or cry but do we really deserve him? How were his yellow hordes succeeded in manipulating us and make the office of the President seem irrelevant.

Lord Chimera
Guest

Well at least you have a small consolation that you didn’t vote for the guy you may be a victim but not a perpetrator take comfort in that.

Joe America
Guest
Brilliant, positively. Sorry you were shoved out of the headline position. I did a paper on thermodynamics in physics. Thermal contact occurs when two substances affect each other’s temperature, as when you hold a JBC meeting and Mr. Corona and Ms. De Lima are both there. Thermal equilibrium is when two substances in thermal contact no longer transfer heat between them, as when President Aquino meets an old girl friend at a party. Thermal expansion takes place when a substance expands volume as it gains heat, as when Senator Santiago somehow appears bigger than life during a rant at the… Read more »
Trosp
Guest
According to Maher boy aka Joe America – “as when Trosp finally gets it through his concrete skull that juvenile insults make Filipinos look immature and insecure.” What I’m doing to this dud is not insulting him – it’s labeling and exposing him for what he is – DISHONEST, plain and simple. (I have proven it from time to time, am I insulting him ?) Ulyanin talaga. (Will it be an insult if I can prove it?) Which is worse: purveying misinformation out of ignorance or incompetence, or deliberately and maliciously twisting facts to suits one’s agenda. Maher boy aka… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

And this Maher boy aka Joe America has done a paper on thermodynamics. If what is contained in his paper are those items in his comment, this dud has not written a paper.

He copied and pasted the basic concepts of heat transfer and, arrogantly, he called it his paper.

I call it a glaring juvenile insults to comment readers of this blog.

Trosp
Guest

This dud should consider trying makahiya. Who knows, it could be the antidote for narcissism.

Parallax
Guest

Noynoy’s principle of conservation of energy: Pnoy’s energy is neither created nor destroyed; it is always conserved.

absolutely brilliant, benigs! spot on!

Parallax
Guest

my sincere apologies, fallenangel. slip of the head. but damn it’s spot on.

Parallax
Guest

this sort of thing happens when i go straight to the article (without realizing i didn’t commit to memory who the author is), finish it, and as soon as i get to “Related Posts” i zip past the author and assume i know who the author is.

really sorry, man.

gawd i need sleep.

Albert Wesker
Guest
Taking fluid mechanics into account, it could be said that the Aquino administration is in a way a non-Newtonian fluid; the more force you exert on it, the more it tends to stick into place; in other words, the more inactive it becomes. A non-Newtonian fluid does not possess a constant coefficient of viscosity, which can be equated to the administration’s lack of definite properties suitable for governance. Perhaps the best way of dealing with the Aquino administration is the same as dealing with the peculiarity of non-Newtonian fluids; reduce the applied stress and apply it somewhere else, like the… Read more »
Leon S. Kennedy
Guest

Perhaps I shall make an article of this nature in the future, involving quantum mechanics and relativity. I’d like to ask for your permission, my friend. ^^

(Pardon for the Resident Evil references. Fanboy-ism. XD)

Hyden Toro
Guest

Noynoy Aquino is at rest…so he remains at rest…an outside Force from us; like a good KICK on his Rear End, will make him move…this, I’m for sure, will make him move…however, his head is empty: he will move without thinking…this will be worse…

cool ass
Guest

so bad, that we will be stuck with that “President at Rest” for the next four years…

Joe America
Guest

Editor: I’m curious as to why my comment from yesterday was removed. I don’t think it violated the Terms of Service. It was directly pertinent to the topic being discussed and did not use bad language. Nor does this inquiry violate the Terms of Service.

benign0
Admin

I found yours along with one by Der Furher in the spam queue. I’ve approved them now. Apologies for that guys.

Joe America
Guest

Thanks. My blog software does the same thing, erratically. Stupid machines.

Trosp
Guest
What I can share, to lighten up our day, is a murphylogical epigrams (Murphy’s Laws): 1. If Penoy has any way of making a mistake, he will. 2. If there’s more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then Penoy will do it that way. 3. Penoy leadership: anything that can go wrong, already has, you’re just not aware of it yet! 4. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, trust Penoy, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.… Read more »
Parallax
Guest

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime Penoy has a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability he’ll get it wrong.

i really like this one.

Clueless
Guest

Hahahaha! I love the intellectual discourse as much as the article itself! simply put:

2+2 =/= 4 but whatever I want it to be…

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[…] Compare the principles above, with the laws of motion for Noynoying: […]

cleo
Guest
MASARAP YATA MAGLARO NG TONG ITS!…NAKAKA GULANG SA LARO…..KABISA KO NA SI NOY NOY MAHILIG MAG LARO NG DAMA!…MAGANDA ANG SUBJECT NA PHYSICS DI KO AKALAIN MAGIGING BEST IN CLASS AKO NAPILING MABAIT AT MASIGASIG SA PAG AARAL…NGAYON LANG YATA AKO NAGKA MEDAL MATAPOS KO ANG SENIOR YEAR…THEY ALL LOOSER EXCEPT ME…INIYAKAN KO ANG MEDAL NA ITO SABI NI STEP IM A LITTLE BOO!…MERON PA ANG AKING GURO SA PHYSICS AT CHEMISTRY AY SI MRS. A.APOLINARIO MABAIT ITO AT PABORITO AKO AT MRS B.APOLINARIO…MERON AKONG MASAMANG KARANASAN SA CHEMISTRY…KASI MATAAS ANG AKING SCORE SA EXAM AY PINA ULIT ANG AKING… Read more »
cleo
Guest

heloo…ang principal namin sa kasalukuyan sa administration ng jri…ay tuwang tuwa at ikinagagalak ako dhl sa aking pagiging bayani at banal! ang principal po namin ay relihiosa best sila ni mrs a.apolinario…parati kami nagkikita kits sa kapulungan ng mga apostolado ng panalangin…Amen!