It is in the Filipinos’ best interest that Noynoy stay alive until the 2016 elections are over


President NoynoNoynoy-Aquino-Kris-Aquinoy Aquino’s health has been a concern ever since the start of his term. He is known as an avid smoker. He claims that his job causes him an unbearable amount of stress. What doesn’t help is that he gets lots of criticism due to his gaffes and goof-ups.

Uncle Peping reportedly didn’t mince words in 2011, when faced with the prospect of losing the Hacienda due to Aquino’s mismanagement of Malacañang’s relationship with the Supreme Court:

The Tribune source said that the plot to oust Corona was hatched at the Bahay Matanda, the ancestral house of the Cojuangcos after elderly members of the Cojuangco clan reportedy [sic] berated President Aquino for attacking members of the High Court which they believe was the reason the SC justices revoked the stock distribution option and ordered the distribution of the [Hacienda Luisita] sugar estate to its tenants.

“From the time of (President Ramon) Magsasay, the hacienda land was never lost. When Martial Law came, we still did not lose our land. GMA (Gloria Arroyo) and Cory had a fight during GMA’s presidency, we Cojuangcos still did not lose our land. Now that that you (Noynoy) are president, we lose the hacienda!”, the Tribune source quoted an elderly Cojuangco as he berated Aquino in the vernacular.

“You are the reason for our loss of the hacienda, because even the Supreme Court you had to fight with!,” the elderly Cojuangco was further quoted as telling the President.

Just imagine how stressful life can be for Noynoy, if even your “elders” berate you for being yourself.

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It’s a safe assumption to make that the critics of Noynoy Aquino couldn’t care less about his health, either. They’ve just about had enough of him and want him to go as soon as possible, by any means necessary. Impeachment? Sorry, Noynoy has the numbers in Congress and Senate. EDSA x? Oh please, the irony. Street revolutions are so passé. Quite simply, the EDSA movement is finished.

The best thing to do is to let Noynoy Aquino finish his six-year term. We are assuming, though, that after six (6) years of having to live with a bad choice, Filipinos will make a better one come 2016. However, Kris Aquino’s announcement that she will run for a government position in 2016 gives certain Filipinos that impending feeling of dread and déjà vu.

As far back as December 2011 Get Real Post had been writing about the most plausible underlying mission of Noynoy’s presidency: to keep Hacienda Luisita within the family even after the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP) ends in 2014. When the CARP ends, Hacienda Luisita ideally will be distributed to the farmers.

When it comes to the higher cause(s) of Hacienda Luisita, and the maintenance of the Aquino-Cojuangco clan’s political relevance to the Filipino landscape, no price is too high to pay. This is most likely true for any political dynasty here in the Philippines, but all the more so for them. Why do you think they’re throwing all their “mature” offspring into politics, such as Kris and Bam?

The shocking (or not) reality, however, reveals itself in light of the bigger picture:

After 2014, Noynoy is expendable.

Remember, the Aquinos have utilized the sympathy vote for a dead family member twice already. Given the highly emotional nature of the Filipinos, there’s no reason it will not work a third time in the future.

When Ninoy died, Cory ran for president and won.
When Cory died, Noynoy ran for president and won.

Given that Noynoy is not in the best of health, Filipinos are now faced with the following scenario:

If Noynoy dies before the 2016 elections, Kris will run for the presidency and win.

Thus, for the Filipinos, their mission, should they choose to accept it (actually, they don’t have much of a choice), is:

Keep Noynoy alive until the 2016 elections are over, and they keep hopes of getting the Philippines out of its current pothole alive. Keep Noynoy alive until the 2016 elections are over, and they throw a monkey wrench that stalls (but not totally stops) Uncle Peping’s plans to continue putting his “dummies” in government.

If he kicks the bucket anytime before that, then Kris will get the sympathy vote for president. She will simply stroll the red carpet into Malacañang.

Now comes the hard part.

To keep him alive, therefore, Filipinos must actually do the dirty work at eliminating the most probable causes of death that can happen to Noynoy.

Get him to quit smoking with finality

I don’t know how many Filipinos remember this, but this was one of the many campaign promises he didn’t keep. Despite his claim that it would help him deal with the pressures of the job, apparently he still sucks at doing it.

Oh, and if the CIA can conjure up plans of killing Fidel Castro with an exploding cigar, I’m sure Filipinos will somehow copy that too.

Hook him up with someone for good, by all means necessary

There was a study some time back that single people may die younger. The challenge is finding someone willing to stick it out with him, for life.

Make sure that Noynoy avoids any sort of transport during the 2016 campaign

Land vehicles such as trucks can get involved in road accidents, or be bombed. An airplane or a helicopter can be conveniently crashed into the mountainside. A boat can be sunk.

Better to chain Noynoy to a chair and make sure he doesn’t go anywhere…far. Keep him within surveillance at all times. Don’t forget to feed him.

Sounds like we’re committing him to a mental institution or something, don’t you think? The only thing missing would be a straightjacket.

The Aquino-Cojuangco clan’s enemies know very well that making a martyr out of Noynoy will be the last thing they want to do. It is counterproductive; it will actually benefit them more to keep that walking gaffe machine alive. Every mistake that he makes gives the Aquino-Cojuangco clan’s political enemies more ammunition to shoot them with. That is, if they can take advantage of opportunities.

Now we’re faced with an even more perplexing question: if someone were to pull the plug on Noynoy, where would it come from?

The plot thickens.

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata…

13 Replies to “It is in the Filipinos’ best interest that Noynoy stay alive until the 2016 elections are over”

    1. Nope, I meant 2014.

      After Hacienda Luisita “goes back” to the “farmers”, the elders of the Cojuangco clan no longer need Noynoy.

      In this link it says that on the list of beneficiaries for the distribution of land are people linked to Aquino relatives, and “dummies” of the Cojuangco-Aquinos.

      When the hacienda is “distributed”, it is time for Noynoy to sacrifice himself for “the higher cause” – Uncle Peping and the Cojuangco clan’s continuing relevance in Filipino politics.

      Kris Aquino – vice-pres one day, governor of Tarlac the next. In a week’s time, who knows? If something happens to Noynoy anytime between 2014 (after the CARP ends) to 2015 you can bet that they will use this to catapult Kris Aquino into as high a position as possible. Go for gold!

      Binay is technically the next in line if something happens to Noynoy, but he will lose against the sympathy vote in the next presidential elections.

      The Pinoys did it for Cory and Noynoy, they certainly will do it for Kris.

  1. ‘I blame myself – breastfeeding a child until the age of 27 is not a good idea.
    Daddy tried to stop it but was too busy with his own anatomy interests, and trying to change the world.
    We had such high hopes – an american university and a society bride – until the psychiatrist put us straight – he was not only stupid, but as bent as a corkscrew – played for the other side – a bum boy – a chocolate lover! A double whammy as well as a double mammary. I felt like a tit – and in a gay household, why not.
    Our hopes were dashed. Daddy could have died. He did soon afterwards.
    The man from uncle sorted that out.
    I cried, gained sympathy, and realised that was the secret to elections, and tv ratings.
    I also learnt that you can lie and cheat, as long as you have a scapegoat to persecute and blame, and an accomodating press to praise you.
    You don’t have to be clever to succeed in politics, when people are so stupid’

  2. @OnesimusUnbound the link that you posted, the comments posted by Francisco Jr Valmoria just sealed the deal. that there are pinoys do really actually have sh!t as their brain.

  3. Whatever happens to Noynoy, whether Benay will sit on the throne in 2016 – it is inevitable that Kris will one day be our president. We might as well start accepting it now. This post will surely ring in your ears on that day.. I shudder in fear, My mind just revolts by just thinking of it..

    1. Obviously 3 years is a long time but kris aquino and the real power brokers – the cojuangcos are keeping close to the binays – for now – but will do everything they can to stop him in 2016 – a break in power would be difficult to regain, unless there is a tragic ‘death’!
      The strategy will be to keep power in 2016 with whatever combination will appeal to the masses, and i expect roxas to be sidelined again. No mass appeal and a follower.
      The next 3 years will be about consolidating power and preparing for 2016
      The sheer financial and media exposure behind bam aquino maybe a clue to the future plan.
      Next weeks results will be the foundation stone.
      A good showing by nancy binay will have p-noy et al really worried, and me, but for different reasons!

      1. In PNoy’s case, he should be worried because “There can be only one…” who is severely unqualified and avoids debates like he.

  4. I think we’ve had enough of lawyers, military and such to top government post. We should have somebody from the engineering/technical fields. I think they would be more effective in leading this country. Come to think of it, they are the ones really marginalized.

  5. Can’t this Country find and field some candidates that can truly Lead? This crazy and pathetic idea and psychology that seems to be in the heads of these family dynasty members as well as the general public that vote for them, just because you come from the same family of some other politician, actor, actress, celebrity figure or whatever, does not mean YOU or also qualified or should even run think about running for a political office! My advise to voters…is to stay away from voting for any celebrity, actor, actress, any family member with the same last name or sport figure! I know I have have limited the choices greatly but but maybe in doing this you might actually find some great Leadership to lead this country, that not well…lets say just way to

  6. just so you know,, when cory ran against President Marcos, she lost to Marcos but the phony CIA backed edsa people’s power 1 installed her into power. balimbing.

  7. when watching pnoy sona, it’s like he’s saying good bye. made me think he’s going to commit suicide. i’m still waiting for the news that the president killed himself. haha!

  8. Dynasty is everywhere in the country, from the lowliest barangay captain fielding the eldest child to become SK chairman, to the widow of slain mayor as the runaway winner, to the son or wife of the congressman, senator and president. Even the religious sects, can you immagine a non-Manalo becoming the top honcho of the INC. It is ingrained in the pilipino heritage, determining who is the next in line to the throne.

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