Self-Destruction: The Question of Suicide and the Tendency to Harm One’s Self

kristel_tejada_suicideHow do people kill themselves?

According to Wikipedia:

“Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, “to kill oneself”) is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death”.

The following are the usual reasons and often quoted factors given, why an individual commits suicide:

“…is committed out of despair or attributed to some underlying mental disorder, such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism, or drug abuse. Pressures or misfortunes such as financial difficulties or troubles with interpersonal relationships often play a significant role.”

Though I substantially subscribes to the foregoing premises, I am also holding the view that the said given enumeration is not complete neither it is exclusive.

Every person is a special entity. Hence, we cannot ascribe to him or her; the prevailing doctrine or principle so far accumulated by medical research, notwithstanding the fact and regardless of the point that the said documentation is extensive. That is beside the point.

My argument is that, there could be no definitive quantitative analysis that would determinatively answer the question of: why people decide to kill themselves.

I will argue that the usual application of the scientific template with regard to the issue is incomplete.

That people commit suicide because they are sad, they are mentally disturbed, they are suffering from serious physiological disease that is incurable, that they are undergoing extreme depression due to financial bankruptcy and emotional emptiness, that they are broken-hearted, that they felt so hopeless and defenseless in the face of a seemingly difficult situation, that they find life meaningless and existence nonsense and absurd.

I am not saying that all these factors and reasons do not play a part in the ultimate decision of the person; the irrefutable fact is: they do. However to reduce the whole scenario on the above-quoted grounds which led the individual to harm him/herself would be myopic and indeed, puerile.

We owe ourselves! Our bodies, our souls and our minds belong to us. Only the person knows what he/she is going through.

At the end of the day, society as a whole cannot fathom what’s going on inside the head of an individual, nor has it the power to check the feelings and agony suffered by a lonely heart.

Every individual is unique and special, every soul has its own mind and feelings, which society can never ever fully conquer nor decipher.

We may never understand the prevailing thoughts that animates the mind of a desperate heart that led an individual to do such a drastic act, yet instead of condemning the said person, it would be better if we will pause and reflect on the whole episode! Why a lonely soul decided to end her life? In effect, we just return to the issue and question that we posited above.

To those idiots who condemn and ridicule those people who committed suicide; let me state that:

But we are not all the same! We must celebrate our differences! We are all special and unique individuals!

I may not agree to the grim decision undertaken by those persons to end their lives; for purposes of ending their suffering, yet it is my ardent contention that I do not have the moral right to condemn their action!

They acted on their own will and volition! It may not be the right thing to do in our eyes, yet the actors saw it the other way!

Rather than condemning or criticizing those poor souls, let us ask ourselves: what led those people to choose that decision?

What compelled or impelled them to do what they have done?

Did we as a community also failed them? During those hard and turbulent moments that they are suffering, are we there for them?

Of course, end of the end, our decision is our own decision; yet we cannot deny the significance of our fellow human beings in our lives.

As a philosopher, I am critically analyzing all the angles and elements of this shocking moral issue that affects not only our society but the whole world.

What’s to be done?

Our duty is not only to remember the dead; but primordially to analyze and subsequently understand the reasons behind their decisions! We must locate the ultimate root cause(s) of the problem.

We must create a socio-communitarian consciousness! If may not stop some people from killing themselves, yet I certainly believe that due to our efforts: we may save some desperate lives and lost souls!

It is on this sense that I am also in favor of scrapping the STFAP or at least review it!

All my life, I am so proud of my Alma Mater, the University of the Philippines, yet the event that happened this week makes me sad and utterly angry!

UP must return to its roots!

Note: I dedicate this humble piece to the memory of Kristel Pilar Mariz Tejada. May she rest in peace and may her death be not in vain!

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About Jose Mario de Vega

The writer has a Master's degree in Philosophy, a law degree and a degree in AB Political Science. He was previously teaching Philosophy, Ethics and Anthropology at an institution of higher education in the Nilai University College at Nilai, Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. He is currently a lecturer at the College of Arts, Department of Philosophy at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. As of the moment, he is preparing to publish his first book entitled "Dissidente". It is a collection of his articles, commentaries and op-ed published by various newspapers in Southeast Asia.

Post Author: Jose Mario de Vega

The writer has a Master's degree in Philosophy, a law degree and a degree in AB Political Science. He was previously teaching Philosophy, Ethics and Anthropology at an institution of higher education in the Nilai University College at Nilai, Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. He is currently a lecturer at the College of Arts, Department of Philosophy at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. As of the moment, he is preparing to publish his first book entitled "Dissidente". It is a collection of his articles, commentaries and op-ed published by various newspapers in Southeast Asia.

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59 Comments on "Self-Destruction: The Question of Suicide and the Tendency to Harm One’s Self"

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thelongfallofprose
Guest

From what I’ve remembered STFAP was touted as a way for UP to become “self-sufficient” (AKA privatization) with its projects and programs, but turned out as students subsidizing each other’s education instead. The longer this system exists, the more the government would use it as an excuse to abandon its mandated obligation to provide quality education for all. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same “mechanisms for self-sufficiency” will happen to other SUCs (or maybe they already have).

On a side note, I find it interesting that our so-called presidents of past and present are caught up in this issue.

az_121490
Guest

It can be said that a person would be willing to commit suicide when countless circumstances are just beyond his or her control would lead to such great stress that would drive her to the commitment; that one very personal choice that he or she could ironically “take control” of.

Jerico
Guest

Depression is rarely taken seriously in this country. Some people even call those who are depressed, “baliw”. Things like that need to be taken more seriously.

jo
Guest

Depression carries a stigma in the PH that is akin to leprosy. People with depression are terrified to come out and say so. it is fortunate that PH has strong family ties that the ultimate end of depression is mostly prevented . there are people who do not have that strong ties, maybe due to the need to be away so they can earn, that when depression comes they have few options.

yes, it is wrong to condemn what was done because in their perspective they are doing the right thing. i agree completely.

ChinoF
Member

Because of a culture that puts too much premium on being “happy,” that people come out with false facades of happiness.

Jon Limjap
Guest

Is that the reason they call our meals Happy Meals and Chickenjoy? 😀

ChinoF
Member

^ Yup, I guess. 😛

ChinoF
Member

I wonder if it’s also related to the infamous Filipino sense of entitlement. “Hu hu hu, I can’t get what I want, so I’ll just kill myself.”

Trosp
Guest
@ J de Vega I always have this funny feeling. People who commits suicide can’t be blamed for their act. IMO, nobody in his/her correct faculty would ever commit suicide. Ahem, just like in legal sense, there’s always this bothersome “plea of insanity” to escape justice for those accused who are sure to be punished for their criminal acts. Did you intentionally miss to mention those people who are aware that they’re committing suicide? They’re those who do it for the better good. Take this one for example – “Klein was with several Israeli soldiers from his unit, trying to… Read more »
Johnny Saint
Guest

“‘Ro’i Klein jumped on the grenade, using his body to spare the lives of his fellow soldiers.’

“If that is not suicide, then , I stand to be corrected.”

NO, IT ISN’T SUICIDE. Klein’s was a SELFLESS act to save his fellow soldiers — a SACRIFICE. Nine times out of ten, suicide is a SELFISH act born out of desperation, an inability to cope with the situation, leading to the taking of life to alleviate the burden or stress the individual feels. The SACRIFICE you mention above is a conscious act to surrender life for the preservation of others’ lives.

Trosp
Guest

So, what is your definition of standard suicide?

From the online dictionary –

“su·i·cide (s-sd)
n.
1. The act or an instance of intentionally killing oneself.
2. The destruction or ruin of one’s own interests: It is professional suicide to involve oneself in illegal practices.
3. One who commits suicide.”

Where did you get your definition of “SELFLESS act”?

I can also say that what he did is a “heroic act” but it’s still suicide.

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

So, what is the distinction now, if there is any between a SELFLESS ACT from that of SUICIDE?

If a selfless act is still suicide, then what do you call those acts of political prisoners in starving themselves to death just to register their point against the state?

Is that suicide, too?

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
@Trosp I wrote the article in defense of Kristel and all the people like her! Instead of condemning those people who decide to end their lives, why don’t we condemn to the utmost the unjust institutions and and the evil systems that force/drove them to do the thing that they’ve done? Consider the case of Aaron Swartz! What do you think is the reason why he killed himself? Imagine: he’s enemy is the entire US government! PS: My answer to your illustration/question is that: That is SELF-SACRIFICE!!! Question: When both Rizal and Ninoy return to the country knowing for a… Read more »
Trosp
Guest
@J de Vega According to your counter-comment to my comment- “I wrote the article in defense of Kristel and all the people like her!” My bad. I did not bother to read the last 5 lines of your post telling us that you write it in defense of Kristel and all the people like her. As if you’re telling me that I should have not asked you why you did not include in your post those people who are aware that they’re committing suicide. Their other reasons (aside from self-victimization I would say). To continue with your counter-comment: “Instead of… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

@J de Vega

You have this in your latest post in this blog –

“Professor Noam Chomsky, like Sartre also subscribes to the belief that a true intellectual must not be silenced nor cowed. They must always stand for the truth and condemn all the injustices and inequalities in the world.”

By that, it makes me uncomfortable because you’ve not made any counter-comment on my last comment.

I would like to tell the comment readers here, for the record, that I’m not silencing or/and cowing the self-proclaimed intellectual de Vega if he has not responded to my last comment.

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

@Trosp

So, what is your point in all these exchanges?

Why don’t you write your own paper!?

I do not know what you do for a living! I failed to reply to you, because I am working! Its the end of the semester and I have a lot of paper to mark!

Nobody can silence me!

For the record, I never proclaimed myself as an intellectual!

I proclaimed myself as a philosopher!

Are you blind or what?

DO READ CAREFULLY, BECAUSE YOU ARE BASTARDIZING YOURSELF TO THE READERS OF THIS BLOG!

I already proclaimed myself! You, who are you?

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

Funny questions? Then, why don’t you give us some funny answers?

Your assumption with regard to the “perhaps” is wrong!

“And those series of questions in your counter-comment is your critical analysis, heh….”

So? You? What is your critical analysis?

Perhaps? Perhaps?

Cheers too!

Trosp
Guest

@J de Vega

Labeling you an idiot would be a complimentary in your favor.

Your comprehension sucks. And you’re telling us you posses critical thinking!

Critical thinking definition is bastardized if this will refer to you.

This is your counter-comment –

“For the record, I never proclaimed myself as an intellectual!

I proclaimed myself as a philosopher!”

Undoubtedly you have claimed this one in your post –

“There is no iota of doubt that the intellectuals are the philosophers, the teachers, the writers, the poets, the artists and the like.”

IDIOT!

Philosopher? Pwe!!!

The school where you have studied should disown you.

Trosp
Guest
@J de Vega Here is my “funny” answers (in parenthesis) to the questions coming from your critical thinking – “When both Rizal and Ninoy return to the country knowing for a fact that they may die (which they did), did they committed suicide?” (There is no doubt about their concern – just like us when crossing a busy road. They were not expecting to be killed on sight. They expect to present their case to the people and be judged by the power that be accordingly which could be freedom or death.) “When King Leonidas with his brave 300 Spartans… Read more »
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
@Trosp YOU are the most idiotic creature that I’ve encountered in my entire conscious life! You are only good at argumentum ad hominem! You don’t even know that the word or the term idiot came from the Greeks idiotes, an idiot like you who does not know the meaning of human flourishing and the the common good! You say pwe to me and all those below the belt words! Shame on you! Your school should be the one who should be ashamed you and perhaps the right thing to do for them is to curse and disown you! GUSTO MONG… Read more »
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Wala akong critical thinking? Eh, magaling ka pang punyeta ka, eh bakit hindi mo kami turuan? Sinabi mong idineklara ko ang sarili ko sa publiko na intelektual? Saan ko sinabi ha? PUTANG-INA MO KA, INAAKUSAN MO AKO NA NAGSABI NG BAGAY NA HINDI KO NAMAN SINABI! ANO TO, GUSTO MONG BABUYIN ANG SARILI MO SA MADLA AT SA BUONG BALANA? DI KO ALAM KUNG BULAG KA, TANGA O KUPAL KA! WALA AKONG DEKLARASYON HINGGIL SA BAGAY NA YAON! NGAYON, BAKIT MO SINASABI? MAGALING KA LANG UMEPAL NA PUTANG-INA KA! HINDI KO SINASABI NA PERPEKTO ANG AKING MGA PANULAT AT MGA… Read more »
LA702
Guest

@ Jose Mario DV

GRP is an international forum. Please make your comments or responses using the English language only…or get out if you can’t stand the heat.

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

Hoy, LA702

I will speak in the language that I want!

International forum? Eh, bakit may mga nagsasalita dito ng Tagalog/Filipino?

Ikaw ang lumayas dito! Dito ako aalis o lalayas!

Isa pa, bakit ka nagtatago sa koda mo? Bakit hindi mo ibuyangyang sa publiko kung sino ka?

Natatakot ka? Feeling mysterious ka?

Baka naman ahente ka lang nina Abnoy!?

MAGLABASAN TAYO, KUNG SINO TAYO!

LA702
Guest

@ Jose Mario DV

If you absolutely believe that the use of Filipino language is the way you can contribute to GRP, I congratulate you.

Trosp
Guest
Another example of how I tricked somebody in stupidly reacting. I have posted this comment – “(snip) From where I am, I see these people as those who will not bother with religion. For these people, the above are not twisted logic but rather one’s right to choose. ACLU, NAMBLA, SFC (Sex Freedom Coalition) are their advocates.” (What was in my mind are the atheists but I want to do some exploration.) Lo and behold, from webmaster benign0 who immediately reacted – “@Trosp, that’s a pretty sweeping judgment of ‘atheists’, dude. I wonder though if you might be failing to… Read more »
Dude
Guest

@Jose

I hope you realise that Trolls like Trosp and LA702 are just here to try and get under your skin. It seems you are not seasoned enough to handle them or even ignore them.

Try to learn from the other bloggers here who can kick their ass without lifting a finger.

Stay cool bro.

LA702
Guest

@ Dude

Call it troll, call it getting under somebody’s skin but the fact is people like Jose Mario DV and other GRP contributors are tasked by benignO to express their opinions clearly and respond to comments the best they can. It is their responsibility.

Blogging, after all, is about visitors traffic and at the end of the day each GRP writer must ask themselves whether they have contributed enough to increase GRPs ALEXA Ranking in the cyberworld.

Ilda
Admin

@LA702

What do you mean GRP contributors are “tasked”? LOL

I think you’re delusional.

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

Thanks brother!

Trosp
Guest
@ de Vega A lot of garbage items in your post but I prefer to tackle them one at a time. The way I see it, you’re very good in diverting the topic to distract the readers from the real issue. Your problem with me is I don’t make any claim without supporting it with facts. I call you an idiot and that is for a fact. Let’s get back to this one from your counter-comment to prove your idiocy (and shamelessness)- I made a claim hat you’re a self-proclaimed intellectual and your retort – “For the record, I never… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

@dude

Care to provide the readers any of my comment that makes me a troll in this blog?

benign0 can’t and perhaps you have something that he can’t provide the readers.

You think readers are idiots to believe you because you said so?

He he he, I’m not offended being labeled as troll or as a small minded dude. I will mind them if there are proofs that I am.

Otherwise, STFU.

benign0
Admin

@Jose: The thing with morons is that they will never be able to understand their own moronism no matter how much you explain it to them. So if I were you, I wouldn’t waste any further space on responding to Trosp. Just consider him part of the background noise much like the din of bad karaoke singing that fills the air of Manila on a warm Saturday night. 😉

Trosp
Guest

benign0

The thing with dude like you, you always quantify posting a blog as the same as commenting.

As I’ve said before, you might have a talent in blogging but you’re a comedian or a clown when it comes to commenting.

Your comprehension sucks. and you always blame it to the commenters.

Proof – you can’t cite any screw ups in my comments and I can always cite your screw-ups in your counter-comments.

You are misinforming the readers.

Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

Thanks brother!

Nonetheless, I will still ask the comrades from the Anonymous Philippines to trace that bastard!

Indeed, the problem with this creatures is that they doesn’t know that they doesn’t know! What a shame!

Trosp
Guest
@ de Vega So what happens with this one – This is your counter-comment – “FOR THE RECORD, I NEVER PROCLAIMED MYSELF AS AN INTELLECTUAL! I PROCLAIMED MYSELF AS A PHILOSOPHER!” UNDOUBTEDLY YOU HAVE CLAIMED THIS ONE IN YOUR POST – “THERE IS NO IOTA OF DOUBT THAT THE INTELLECTUALS ARE THE PHILOSOPHERS, THE TEACHERS, THE WRITERS, THE POETS, THE ARTISTS AND THE LIKE.” Ugh! An inconvinient truth that you’re avoiding to be discussed? Ang lagay nyan kakalimutan na lang na ipinagmalaki mo pa yan? Wala ka bang kahihiyan? Kaya puro pagmumura na lang ang ginawa mo? To divert the… Read more »
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

Just a lecturer? You, what the hell are you?

Your an idiotes of the highest order!

For your information, PUP is not just a business school!

Again, your presume implication is wrong!

For the crazy ones, perhaps psycho analysis will do; but for an idiotes like you: there’s no medicine, no institution, no cure!

Your a hopeless case!

Trosp
Guest
@ de Vega A lot of garbage items in your post but I prefer to tackle them one at a time. The way I see it, you’re very good in diverting the topic to distract the readers from the real issue. Your problem with me is I don’t make any claim without supporting it with facts. I call you an idiot and that is for a fact. Let’s get back to this one from your counter-comment to prove your idiocy (and shamelessness)- I made a claim hat you’re a self-proclaimed intellectual and your retort – “For the record, I never… Read more »
ChinoF
Member

Of course, this does not cover the ritualistic suicide that Japanese do. We are mostly seeing things from the western point of view here.

I was even expecting that general, Angelo Reyes, to be mentioned. Suicide is certainly so complex that some some people see it differently every time.

Trosp
Guest
“Of course, this does not cover the ritualistic suicide that Japanese do. We are mostly seeing things from the western point of view here.” So, what are you telling us? Are they in their correct faculty when they commit suicide? You may also refer to “banzai charges” in wiki – “Banzai Charge is considered as one method of Gyokusai (Japanese: 玉砕, literally “jade shards”; honorable suicide). It is a word used to describe the suicide attack, or the suicide before being captured by the enemy such as seppuku (Japanese: 切腹 …It was first reported during the invasion of China where… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

Just like benign0 said, a comment from me – a small minded dude (and he’s the big minded dude)…

Yup
Guest

“If he’s in his right mind, perhaps, he could have shot Trillanes first then kill himself”

Hahaha, you got me my funny bone, tickled sir..

ChinoF
Member

I had the impression you were defending suicide in some cases, but I guess I’m wrong. That’s a point I agree with, suicides not being in their right mind. I would put them together with school shooters. They seem to indicate a deficit in mental health care. That’s why I would push for increased mental health assistance from the state.

Dang, in one’s right mind, he could have done a lot indeed. hehe

Trosp
Guest

@ChinoF

Though my feeling with those who committed suicide (except for those terrorists) is sympathy, I can agree with you that I’m sort of defending them.

Johnny Saint
Guest

Ritual suicide shouldn’t be taken in the same context as the tragedy at UP. (Unless anyone here knows something about the victim’s beliefs toward ritual suicide?) It’s a totally different situation.

And again the suicide ritual in Japan is seen more as a SACRIFICE for the preservation of a complex, highly developed sense of honor, a means of saving face and protecting one’s clan/family.

ChinoF
Member

Yes, everything is different, as I would say. I would still not put much blame on the environment, because the decision to kill oneself after all is the person’s own, and so the responsibility rests there.

Libertas
Guest

“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is
suicide.”
albert camus

Johnny Saint
Guest

I know Camus didn’t believe in suicide, but I wonder if he believed in the RIGHT to commit suicide?

Libertas
Guest

no. he was against under all circumstances – also the general stance of
his contemporaries for varying reasons.
the age of enlightenment came later when philosophical thought was not so bound with religious thought.

Trosp
Guest

Any criminal offense is something that you inflict harm to others.

Suicide is a criminal offense even with the Philippines law.

The trouble is when the offender is dead and then we’re going to hear from them that it’s moot and academic.

Hyden Toro
Guest

It’s very tragic for a young life to be snuffed, by such issue. She should had consulted a Psychiatrist. A Pill would had saved his life.

gin gin
Guest
Just sharing. I have been suffering from depression since in my early teens. I always asked the question what is our purpose? We humans have always been doing our best to continue existing. I ask, for what? Inevitably one day, humans will go extinct, earth will be eaten by the sun and the universe will eventually dissolve. what is therefore out existence for if in the end, everything will go back to nothingness? I searched for answers in science and philosophy. But i think it got worse. Ignorance is bliss. My ignorance was taken away from me. I cannot find… Read more »
guest
Guest

Please seek professional help. Maybe your depression is due to chemical/hormonal imbalances in the brain or other physiologic causes that can be addressed.
I once entertained suicidal thoughts. And the reason I’m still here was that I recognized those thoughts & acknowledged that I needed help and that I cannot help myself. So I told my friend, who brought me to a very good counselor. There’s no shame in asking for help, please do.

Libertas
Guest

Agree.
Find someone to talk to
? Self help group – there are many on internet.
Also dont let your thoughts consume you – paralysis by analysis – and find some appropriate alternative non-thinking activities.
Life is hard and often mundane.
It is a challenge to find balance but dont take on the meaning of life question!! That is depressing!!

Kenneth
Guest
Gin,as a Man in the Medical Field, I suggest you seek help. By admitting that you are suffering depression s a good sign. A person admitting his condition either depression or any other disease is a sign that you are accepting treatment and needed help. Go to a psychiatrist, she will provide you with details and groups to help you cope together with medications to lessen your depression. Every person suffer depression even normal people. Depression is a normal feeling and a coping mechanism of our self, but being depress about something or a situation that doesn’t require this coping… Read more »
Trosp
Guest
Another example of how I tricked somebody in stupidly reacting. I have posted this comment – “(snip) From where I am, I see these people as those who will not bother with religion. For these people, the above are not twisted logic but rather one’s right to choose. ACLU, NAMBLA, SFC (Sex Freedom Coalition) are their advocates.” (What was in my mind are the atheists but I want to do some exploration.) Lo and behold, from webmaster benign0 who immediately reacted – “@Trosp, that’s a pretty sweeping judgment of ‘atheists’, dude. I wonder though if you might be failing to… Read more »
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega
Guest
Jose Mario Dolor De Vega

@Benign0, you told me to just ignore this bloody idiot, hence why are you replying to this idiotes?

@Trosp

Your the most idiotic creature that I’ve encountered in my entire life!

LA702
Guest
@ Jose Mario DV Imagine if Washington Post Opinion Columnist George F. Will writes an article and his readers argued with him regarding his article, would George Will ignore these readers and think that questions on the issues he wrote will go away anyway if he did not respond to them? Not in America my friend or you lose your job. They are serious about matters like these. It is a responsibility to his employers and to the public that supports his employers. Remember that readers are the generators of advertisements. You seem to be a reasonable individual with sufficient… Read more »
Trosp
Guest
At least, this de Vega is exposed for his idiocy. Just read his comments in this post he he he… I can only imagine a cornered rat… He can’t even comprehend his own posted comments! And he claimed he is a lecturer! A lecturer! Jeez… He he he…our exchanges of pleasantries here would be a record of his fearless stand on idiocy. The “better be labeled an idiot rather than admitting a mistake” principle. And I can speculate that he is the type of person that benign0 and this commenter dude would like to have as a company. THE COLLEGE… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

This de Vega guy, according to his comment, would ask his friends in Anonymous Philippines to locate me.

I might be wrong. It seems it’s deleted.

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