Conspiracy Theory: Ate LENI as an ALIEN unleashed to destroy Digong and Bongbong

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Despite Otso Deretso’s crushing defeat in the recent senatorial polls, Yellowtardism isn’t really dead yet. Leni Robredo (more commonly regarded by the vast majority as the fake VP) is the last remaining thread that keeps the Yellow camp’s hopes alive.

Imagine if Ms. Heartbeat Away assumes the throne as Chief Executive the moment Digong passes away one of these days. With all the gloom-and-doom super-quakes taking place in Mindanao lately, not to mention reckless self-inflicted motorcycle mishaps, it’s not a remote possibility. The country survived a Cory and a PNoy, but will it survive a Leni? One thing’s pretty certain: she will likely easily dethrone PNoy from the pedestal of “pinaka-nakakahiyang (most embarrassing) Head of State in Philippine history.”

For now, Ms. Heartbeat Away is having the time of her life in her role as the Opposition-anointed crusader in saving the country from “dictators.” Yellow-aligned media outlets are waiting like hungry leopards ready to pounce every time ate Leni has a pronouncement. Having overcome the first hurdle of Bongbong’s VP electoral protest, things could further turn in her favor to unsuspecting Filipinos’ surprise.

Getting paid a hefty sum by taxpayers simply to criticize from a lofty ivory tower just about anything the current administration is doing isn’t such a bad position to be in. The stinking problem though is that the message delivery is such an incompetent confounding mess. Why can’t she communicate with clarity?

Where does she get those “facts” about the scale of killings in the drug war? What’s the point of antagonizing China when we can’t even defend ourselves militarily? Some are wondering where she gets all the garbage she sends out to entire world, and why top broadcast networks still keep peddling her every word for public consumption, despite the complete farce that she represents.

Why does the “VP” speak the way she does? One conspiracy theory is that Ate Leni is actually an ALIEN whose gastrointestinal tract works in the reverse direction. This can likely explain where all the illogically confusing crap and obscure statements spewing out that big hole on her head is coming from. Those who dine with her in secret upper-echelon LP-exclusive chambers can possibly attest to the validity of what the common Yellowtard will dismiss to be a preposterous speculation.

Leni could be the centerpiece of a well-orchestrated grand conspiracy to bring down Digong and Bongbong. And for what purpose? To keep Pinoys poor, incompetently managed and anti-intellectual simply because these aliens need a constant supply of brown people who will be willing slaves streaming out of this tropical paradise for first-world nations to focus on alien-sponsored endeavors that matter more than cleaning up homes, dishes and elderly folk’s assholes.

We should begin to ask the right questions to dig deeper into the conspiracy’s rabbit hole:
1. Did the alien who took on Leni’s resemblance actually have Jesse (and the real Leni) killed?
2. How did a complete nobody just a few years back with no real credentials or accomplishments other than something like “her dog died” suddenly get to be the second most powerful official of the land?
3. And finally, why do so many pictures show Leni awkwardly looking like an alien straight out of a freak-show Hollywood thriller?

It would be interesting to see how the story plays out. Besides, when life’s just a joke or entertaining telenovela, Filipinos won’t really mind getting a taste of their own Charot medicine.

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9 Comments on “Conspiracy Theory: Ate LENI as an ALIEN unleashed to destroy Digong and Bongbong”

  1. There has been a recount, in the contested 2016 VP election. The recount produced : wet spoiled ballots; pre shaded ballots; dead people voting; more people voting than those registered; people whose votes went to Lugaw Robredo; HOCUS PCOS and SMARTSWITIK.

    Just look at the crook, former COMELEC Chief Andres Bauitista, who was found with multi million pesos bribe money, The crook is now a TNT (tago ng tago) , in America , enjoying his bribes.

    How the hell those in the PET, and in the Supreme Court, refuse to see this ? Are they Blind ? They are looking the other way, and invoking legal technicalities to buy time…

    This woman, who is a fake Vice President, and with mind nearing a moron, like Pnoy Aquino and Cory Aquino, has no business sitting and holding that Vice President position !

    1. Agree to Comolect andres bautista chef of lenilutong lugaw9(COMELEC Chief Andres Bauitista, who was found with multi million pesos bribe money, The crook is now a TNT (tago ng tago) , in America , enjoying his bribes.) who is the head of this PET justiis.

  2. >> And for what purpose? To keep Pinoys poor, incompetently managed and anti-intellectual

    Sorry, every Philippines administration since forever has done this. Duterte is no exception. The reality is that Filipinos themselves are quite happy for this situation to persist so that they can all feel sorry for themselves (and simultaneously “proud” because they are “resilient” and “long-suffering” in the face of “sacrifice”).

    In any case, Duterte doesn’t run the country. The people who actually DO run the country tend to stay in the shadows. I’ve met a few of them. They’re intelligent, evil, and very competent. It is they, not bad old foreigners, who want cheap slave labour. I’m surprised to see you of all people, Zaxx, coming out with an anti-foreigner conspiracy rant.

    If Filipinos didn’t like being poor, stupid, and beaten-down, they’d do something – anything! – about it. Since they don’t, it’s a fair assumption that they’re a-OK with it.

    1. It’s actually both. In a slave trade, everyone is in cahoots: the foreign buyer and the supplier/exporter.

      Foreigners on the one hand profit significantly in keeping Filipinos intellectually inferior and blissfully entertained – thereby making them dependent on the first world for just about everything: cars, jets, trains, microchips, smartphones, books, games, software, Facebook, Coke, McDo, sci-fi movies, medicine,…

      The best place to stage a live performance is in prison – you have a captive audience. But you’re right, Filipinos seem to be happily content staying incarcerated.

    1. A spare tire that thinks its primary mandate is to drill holes on the functional spinning tires of a vehicle running full throttle along a highway doesn’t really make much sense does it?

      Unless of course you’re the owner of a vulcanizing shop.

    2. She’s a humanoid who pretends to have no common sense. She had to wait to be offered a job to deal with the drug problem. Let’s see how far her theatrics will go as she says she’s being set up to fail when she hasn’t even started. If she’s really serious she wouldn’t be making that excuse. Even with the odds against her.

  3.  

    Many of us have an opinion but sometimes it is important to go back to facts then extrapolate from there.

    During the time period that Jesse’s plane was missing, a loyal Noynoy lapdog broke into Jesse Roberdo’s Manila apartment.
    There is no bus stop in that viral picture of her “waiting for a bus”.
    Lugaw was the reason behind that much fundraising in 2016?
    Andy Bautista had those accounts , his estranged wife produced. No logical explanation from him followed.
    Andy Bautista was impeached by the book.
    Andy Bautista ran away and abandoned his kids.

    Look at those facts. Based on the first bullet why would you want to associate yourself with a group that broke into your husband’s apartment considering what was known or unknown at the time?  Lugaw? Really? Bank accounts in the obscure rural bank of a friend? Impeached?   Last time I took a bus, I don’t recall having a photographer tag along. Do these facts lead to Leni’s extreme confidence she is the real Vice President? There is something to your theory Zaxx.

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