Filipinas are forced to look for real men from overseas

Aren’t there enough Filipino men in the country good enough for some Filipino women (Filipinas)? As far as I know, there is no shortage of Filipino men and I haven’t heard of any reports that say there is an imbalance in the sex ratio that would compel some Filipinas to seek men from overseas either. But what could be forcing some Filipinas to look for partners from foreign lands? I’m sure the reason is not just limited to financial aspects because I know a lot of successful professional Filipinas with their own money who are also married to foreign men. It would be wrong then for others to assume that these women only married for money.

A bowerbird and his bachelor pad

Yes, there are Filipinas, those who belong to the lower end of the socio-economic classes who view men from first world countries as a “good catch” because of the superiority of the currency these men have in their bank accounts. But to be sure, there are also some foreign men who come to the Philippines to take advantage of naive Filipinas. Unfortunately, Filipinas seem to have acquired a reputation for being heartbreakers and gold diggers among single foreign men who are seeking true love in Asia.

Even Jasmine Lee, a Filipina who married a South Korean national and then became the first naturalized Korean to become a lawmaker in South Korea, is said to have become a target of “racist” and “xenophobic” attacks on the Internet. Reports have surfaced stating that some Korean Netizens are reacting negatively to her new post with someone Tweeting: “Following the immigrant wife Lee’s entry to the Assembly, we can well predict the rise of unregistered foreigners and foreign women marrying in return for money. We’ll see the truth of multiculturalism that exploits Koreans.” It is unfortunate that the Filipina’s reputation has been tainted to the point of affecting even highly-educated and professional women like Lee.

I recently read a post from a site called HubPages written by someone who was obviously very bitter about his own experience with Filipinas. His primary reason for writing the article is to warn other foreign men from getting involved with women from the Philippines. Although I was disappointed to read his article, I can’t blame him for his generalization because I’ve heard a lot of anecdotal and actual reports around that seem to validate the writer’s views. I heard, for example, that Internet Cafes are swarming with Filipinas chatting up western men online. This is part of the dire post from the site:

Pinays’ most common goal is to make Americans fall in love with them and have the men marry and bring them to the United States for good, where they will settle down and enjoy the good life that the country offers. When they succeed, they will continue to stick with their men for a little longer until they obtain their alien registration card(green card). Upon obtaining this precious green card, they will abandon their men and look for the ones they really like. Infuriating huh? Due to this, Pinays can be considered to be opportunistics, who use their wits to continuously take advantage of the men who really believe they’re not being loved for their money.

Indeed, for many foreign nationals, the road to matrimony is fraught with difficulties especially when they are dealing with someone they barely know from a culture that is totally alien to their own. And this dilemma is not just limited to Filipinas. Anyone experiencing hardship in their own country will turn up their survival instincts and resort to all kinds of things just to get a ticket out of their misery. This phenomenon is not exclusive to Filipinos. Russian brides, anyone? Who can forget Nicole Kidman’s role in the film Birthday Girl as a Russian mail-order bride to a British guy. Nicole’s character accentuated the reputation of the typical Russian women from poor backgrounds who do whatever it takes to get out of their wretched existence. In the film, it turns out that the Russian mail-order bride is just a front for a crook to extort money from unsuspecting men.

I do feel sorry for men who get lured into a relationship by women who just want to scam money out of them. But hey, men do it to women too. Sometimes desperation can quickly turn anyone into a calloused con artist. However, as they say, it takes two to tango. A wise man would suss out the real situation first before getting involved with someone. Anyone can try to pull a fast one but it is likely the fool who falls victim to a predator.

Anyway, I strongly suggest that those who are feeling sorry that they got duped should also take a bit of personal responsibility for their own mistake. They don’t have to continue feeling bitter about their experience. They just need to move on. Even Marvin Gaye admitted that everybody plays the fool. The novelist Jane Austen also wrote about being a fool for love. For those who are not familiar with the novel or the film adaptation of her highly celebrated book, Pride and Prejudice, here are some of her most famous opening lines:

IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

Jane Austen may have written those classic lines in the 19th century but her message rings true to this day. Other writers may put in their own little twist or nuance when they tackle romantic love stories, but most of them still work around the same premise of Austen’s storyline. For whether one acknowledges it or not, a man who is loaded with cash, property or stocks makes himself a magnet for all kinds of rackets, many of them coming in the guise of true love — which is why it is still better to use other means of attracting a partner as alternatives to waving money around. If a man chooses to use his fortune to secure a partner, he should be prepared to accept that he will likely to have been chosen solely for his money alone.

Who wouldn’t want their own Fitzwilliam Darcy or “Mr. Darcy”? Even if you overlook his character in Austen’s novel being a single good-looking man in possession of a good fortune; he oozes with sex appeal nonetheless. His appeal it seems has less to do with his good looks and his fortune, and more to do with the air of authority others feel when he enters the room. This is also true in real life. Sometimes when a person walks around looking unimpressed or aloof; people find that person more intriguing and more fascinating.

This is not to suggest that we should favor someone with a snotty disposition; it’s about being selective about the kind of people who you want to deal with. After all, who wants to waste their time engaging in shallow conversations about petty and trivial pursuits? In other words, it’s about having substance. And people who have substance can spot someone who has substance a mile a way. In Austen’s book, it was ultimately substance that helped Mr. Darcy overcome his prejudice and fall for someone below his class standing in society, Ms. Elizabeth Bennet. And despite his wealth, it was substance that helped Elizabeth overcome her own pride and fall for Mr. Darcy.

In the animal kingdom, the art of attracting a mate is not too different from that applied by humans. One of Sir David Frederick Attenborough’s documentaries on his Life series shows how the male bowerbird uses its decorating skills to show-off by creating some kind of “bachelor pad” in its effort to attract a partner:

To attract a partner, the male bowerbird builds and decorates an elaborate nest, which can take weeks to assemble. The bower — a structure woven around a sapling that looks almost like a wooden tent — is carpeted with moss and decorated with flowers, colorful insects, fungi or even dung depending on each bird’s design sensibilities.

While the bowerbird may go through a lot of trouble to make himself presentable to a female, this doesn’t necessarily mean that all of his time and effort will pay off. Other males generally construct bowers nearby, and their sense of style and song may be more along the lines of what a female bowerbird is looking for.

It is interesting to note that all that effort to show-off has an evolutionary purpose. The female would naturally choose someone who she thinks has the most attractive or the strongest characteristics. This is applying the assumption that someone who possesses the better characteristics will likely pass on the genes that produce them. More importantly, individuals who exhibit those characteristics are likely to possess the fitness and strength that make them superior carers for their offspring. So therefore, women who go for men who seem to possess strong characteristics should not be frowned upon. Women merely act on preferences honed by evolution to instinctively look out for their welfare and the welfare of their future family.


[Photo courtesy PinoyExchange.com.]

Going back to Filipino men, what therefore makes some of them so unappealing could be the fact that they are not raised to be real men. They come across as deficient in testosterone on account of the way they just drink and hang around instead of work hard to give their family a decent life. Some of them just let their wives do all the work, which could mean going overseas to work as domestic helpers while their husbands spend what little money they have on vices. This could have something to do with an undiagnosed narcissistic disorder afflicting a lot of Filipino men. Indeed, it was global media outlet CNN International that concluded that Filipino men are the most narcissistic in Asia. An inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves could be the reason why more and more Filipinas are seeking partners overseas.

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Post Author: Ilda

In life, things are not always what they seem.

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321 Comments on "Filipinas are forced to look for real men from overseas"

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ChinoF
Member

This also demonstrates that the Filipino machismo culture is flawed and filled with vice. Perhaps it’s one reason there’s so much poverty in the Philippines and the country can’t move forward.

Bill Steffen
Guest
I am married here and I can say that I have found that foreign men who get burned are asking for it!! I cannot talk for everyone but I know I would not trade my wife for ten American women!! Yes I am American! I could go on and on about this but whats the use
jcc
Guest
There is something that does not add up in Hubpages’ meanderings about an opportunistic Filipino women. When you marry an American you don’t need an alien registration card (green card). You become automatic American citizen by marriage. A different paper work is filled-up. If this bitter guy was jettisoned for someone the Pinay really likes, then he was trashed because he was not loved despite his money. That does sound “opportunistic” to you? Pinays would do that even with their Pinoy husbands. How about also Americans who prefer Pinays for their wives knowing that they are dedicated and would stand… Read more »
Legati
Guest

Tinanong ko si Pehong kung bakit mga ‘Merkano mahilig sa Penay meskina ang agwat e April – December. Sabi ni Pehong, “Kasi m’ga Penays matamis na magaling pang mag kareoke, asus!”

brianitus
Guest

Sir, technically it isn’t automatic but it speeds up the process. You still have to go through the naturalization process if you marry an American.

nelson ongpauco
Guest
may kasama akong amerkano na nagasawa ng batang pinay tuwing pasko nagpapadala ang amerkano ng pera sa magulang ng pinay .matanda na ang amerkano siguro hindi na nakapag sesex kaya kinaliwa at sumama sa pinoy na bata pagkaraan ng 6 month bumalik sa amerkano tinanggap naman pero umalis uli kaya dinevorse na sya ng amercano..dalawa ang kasama kong amerkano na devorse na .ngayon masama ang trato sa akin ng kano..gusto ng pinay ay puti dahil sa malaki ang ari at gusto nilang magkaroon ng magandang anak tingnan ninyo ang mga artista karamihan ay anak ng puti ang ina ay ang… Read more »
Bill
Guest

You do not automatically become an American citizen if you marry an American.

Hyden Toro
Guest

There are young Filipino women, who want to marry men , who are 3 Ms…not the U.S. based corporation, but, men who are: “Matanda”, “Mayaman” at “Madaling Mamatay”. How many times I’ve seen women dating men, old enough to be their Grandfathers…these men are retirees or “pensiyonados”. Wala nang hiya-hiya, kung Bulsa ang o-obra…It will always be in the mindsets of Filipino women, that living abroad is easy. Nothing can be further from the truth. You have to struggle double hard, because you are a minority…

aj
Guest

no wonder, the filipina president ate noy is looking to marry a korean national…

Legati
Guest

Ah, The Arts! -“Imitates Life.” Then there is Darwin, followed by MassMedia’s implicits. The battle of the sexes is nothing new, the end-game is often concession to whom benefits are largely to the players themselves. Do not play it if you can not stand the heat, it has consequences -the stupid zero-sum madness. I prefer a joint-venture/inc: Parity…. 😉

Robert Haighton
Guest

“Women merely act on preferences honed by evolution to instinctively look out for their welfare and the welfare of their future family.”

Very well said for a RC country where evolution doesnt exist. Or is it just Darwin’s “survival of the fittest”?

Western women today dont have kids as their main top priority anymore but they prioritize their working career which gives them more subtance then having kids.

Legati
Guest

Think of the Jane Fondas’ (when she kicks the bucket she is still mad at men)of today so self absorved -so clinical automation thus clone. Nah! Manual operations -creation- is much more fun and healthier too.

Joe America
Guest
Superb article, Ilda. Definitely thought provoking. “Even Jasmine Lee, a Filipina who married a South Korean national and then became the first naturalized Korean to become a lawmaker in South Korea ” It is not possible for an American who marries a Filipino to become a naturalized Filipino and become a lawmaker in the Philippines. Also, the Philippines seems to accept dual citizenship reluctantly, believing that if a Filipino has accepted citizenship abroad, he/she becomes a security risk to the Philippines at home. The old “you are either for me or against me” argument at a national level. Or the… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

See, a phony praise from Maher boy aka Joe America

“Superb article, Ilda. Definitely thought provoking.”

Then his signature clincher, interjecting himself –

“I am currently re-reading that old Michener classic “Hawaii”. The white Christian missionaries who fought native Hawaiian culture grew bitter at their failures to convert the heathens to their better way of thinking. Bla blah blah..”

His comments are all about himself.

Joe America
Guest

You have the utmost of arrogance to try to take my praise from Ilda, when I meant it. Fortunately, I am confident she is of bigger heart than you, and gets it, that an argument one place does not mean an argument every place.

And leave it up to a twit of your character to knock someone who takes pride in his reading, and wishes to share a lesson learned. As if being unread is something to aspire toward.

Finally, leave it to you to once again take a fine thread and throw dirt on it.

Trosp
Guest
Hey, Maher boy aka Joe America, fall in line. For you to argue with me is by appointment. I’m recipcrating your policy. My comment is addressed to the comment readers and not to you. Go get a life. It’s glaring in the last paragraph that his comment is about him and not about praising the post author. “I am currently re-reading that old Michener classic “Hawaii”. The white Christian missionaries who fought native Hawaiian culture grew bitter at their failures to convert the heathens to their better way of thinking. The missionaries who applied God’s lessons to that culture without… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

Or maybe this dud is reengineering himself. A lot of phony praises coming from him lately…

I won’t hold my breath.

dude
Guest

You could be right, Trosp. I think he is trying to be “the new Joe America.” We’re on to him.

Parallax
Guest
sorry, guys (trosp & dude), but i’m not with you on this one. i’ve always made it a point to only challenge joe’s claims that could not be substantiated/backed up or are downright false, but when he has a fairly pleasant exchange with others where nothing truly misleading is given real estate, i let it go without reaction. i don’t trust joe at all, but i’ve learned i need not be on his case that way all the time. @joe: i am not defending you, just to be clear. realize that how others treat you is based on how you’ve… Read more »
Joe America
Guest

parallalax, and I’ve always said you are smart whereas others lack your grander sense of perspective.

Trosp
Guest

Parallax, I wish I could agree with you, but this Maher boy aka Joe America is always whining –

“You join the gang of courtesy-deficient thugs to talk ABOUT me instead of to me!”

And in almost all of his comments, it’s all about himself, if not about his dishonesties and misinformation spins.

Read his comments in this post to validate.

At any rate, it’s your call and it’s not a bad one.

dude
Guest

@Trosp

You are right about Joe. He recently wrote against GRP again. He even said in the comment section of his blog:

“4) They would of course argue vociferously. But it is strange to bash your own nationality as they do, without promoting any movement for positive, progressive development.”

Ulol pala itong lolong ito eh. He’s been praising the writers here but saying a different thing on his blogsite for the sake of his audience who are all pro-PNoy. He’s a hypocrite.

Trosp
Guest

Dude, there are times, and I would say, most of the time, arguing in blog is not for the faint heart.

This Maher boy aka Joe America would like to take the short-cut.

Parallax
Guest
@trosp: we’re all on to joe america’s two-facedness. it doesn’t mean we’re promoting absolute intolerance of the likes of him. perhaps today you have the energy to keep trailing him and warning everyone wherever he goes of what he really is, but eventually you’ll have to conserve your limited time and energy and devote your time spent here focused on ideas first, characters second. this is how we are different from joe america. he is no good at defending his own ideas (specif. when discussing his idol) without using all the wrong modes of perceiving reality. THAT is what we’re… Read more »
Bill Steffen
Guest

LOL

Bill Steffen
Guest

My FB is Bill Steffen Friend me and you can see stuff there that will show you that Joe America and Robert the dutchman are feeding you all bull This is for everyone on Get Real! yes thats my real name

dude
Guest

Thanks for the heads-up Bill. It seems this Joe America is a fake. He could be a paid hack. He tries to discredit GRP writers all the time because of their criticism of PNoy, his idol.

ahehe
Guest

1. Lure a foreigner (American etc) into a one-night stand.
2. Claim you were violated the next day and enlist the assistance of “nationalist” groups.
3. ???
4. Profit

AK
Guest

Very nice read, ma’am.

Hans Landa in Inglourious Basters said “What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.”

Sad when you think about it, really. In a country where women are so easily objectified and victimized, that women have to resort to this.

I hope this is a wake-up call to for men to man the F up.

Robert Haighton
Guest
BTW: can this story be supported by official statistics saying that since the year 2000 more and more Filipinas are moving abroad because of a relationship with a foreigner? And does that statistic also reveal that the (only) reason/cause for that migration is bec of lack of “real” Filipino guys? And if this migration already is a trend or will become a trend then the country is up for a shortage of women very shortly. So more Filipino guys will stay unmarried or at least without a woman to date & court and what not. That looks like a grim… Read more »
Joe America
Guest

Good questions. My wife is Filipina and prefers that we stay in the Philippines, which I also wish to do. We will travel to the U.S. now and then and return to our permanent home here. So I add one question to those you ask. How many Filipinas go to the U.S., perhaps without enthusiasm, because their husbands do not wish to reside permanently in the Philippines?

Robert Haighton
Guest

Come on Joe,

USA is not the only country on this planet Filipinas move to. From what I understand (by listening to my partner and just by observing the Philippine country, Philippine traits and culture) is that the Netherlands is far more free – in laws and in culture.

The only question is: can a pinay handle so much freedom?

Dyed Moroz
Guest

Robert,

Out of topic, but I’ve worked with both Dutch and American counterparts in my previous work. And I must say, the level of frankness that our Dutch counterparts displayed made the American counterparts cringe.

Robert Haighton
Guest

@Dyed Moroz,

Off topic answer: yes, we Dutch are straight forward, frank, direct, (mostly) honest, not so shallow as Americans tend to be or can be. We are also less family-oriented, we are (more) self-sufficient, independent.

Joe America
Guest

Robert, yes, of course you are right. Biliran where I live is very popular with the Dutch. My point was more on the perspective of Filipinas. We presume that they go to the States for the rich happy life. Maybe it is the guys who want to go back home and the Filipinas go because they have to, to keep their other benefits. It is a question. I have no idea as to the answer.

Joe America
Guest

Gadzooks. Or to Holland, or Australia, or wherever. Sorry.

Bill Steffen
Guest

I don’t usually agree with you but in this case you are right! My wife feels the same, so do I, and we do the same thing

FallenAngel
Member
Ilda, Quite a few of my female friends say that the concept of gentlemanly conduct is lost upon many Filipino men. We don’t even have to talk about chivalry; common courtesies such as holding the door open for women, letting them enter a room or door first, helping your date sit down, they tell me, are not very common here. Regardless of whether the guy is mister gotbucks or not, his breeding is more important, is it not? I get the impression that many overseas men are in general more courteous and gentlemanly than many Filipino men. There’s something very… Read more »
FallenAngel
Member

By the way Ilda, maybe you can do some sort of follow-up to this:

“Why the Filipina appears attractive to the overseas man.”

Joe America
Guest

The same reason any girl is attractive to a man. Legs and brains and personality that fits. I’m reminded of the line from “Six Days and Seven Nights”, as a drunken character played by Harrison Ford expounds to a snobby character played by Anne Hesch, “Ya wanna know how to get a guy horny?” Pause for curious look from Ms. Hesch. “Just show up.”

FallenAngel
Member

A woman’s perspective is still most likely different, Joe.

Ask a man to write about it and the gist will be something like this: “Men are visual, carnal creatures, period.”

Joe America
Guest

Ahhhh, yes, I see your point. Thanks.

Trosp
Guest

How about personal hygiene?

I just don’t want to go in details. Most oversea males I’ve known are kinky.

And I know how most of oversea females maintain their personal hygiene.

Just my $0.02.

FallenAngel
Member

It’s only one factor among many, I’m sure. And perhaps not even as big a deal to foreigners as it is with us Filipinos.

Robert Haighton
Guest

@Trosp,

Pls elaborate. What do you mean by kinky?

I can only speak on my own behalf but Dutch males do their daily hygiene but compared to Filipinos we use toilet paper after visiting the toilet/bathroom/c.r. and not clean our asses with water and making the toilet/bathroom a mess. Or we will use a bidet and the bathroom will still look crispy fine afterwards.

Trosp
Guest

Hi Robert,

First I’m referring to oversea males I’ve known. The kinky thing is something one see between two consenting adults in a mild blue movies.

I could be wrong of course if we’re going to generalize it.

Bill Steffen
Guest

Damn bro, I can’t believe you actually said that

Trosp
Guest

Bill, no other way but to say I mean. One of the times I’m saying it as my pure opinion.

Robert Haighton
Guest

@FallenAngel,

If all you say is true (and I dont doubt you) then something went wrong during the raising/upbringing of those guys. So why didnt their parents do a better job? Or why werent those guys corrected in their mal behavior (by their surroundings)?

FallenAngel
Member
Robert, I wish it were simple an issue like negligence, but it is not. The parents could only pass on values which they were familiar, or grew up, with. If you’re a Filipino, and your parents were born here before the 1970s-1980s then chances are their upbringing was very traditional and conservative. If you have been to other Asian countries you will find that what I called courtesies to women are actually alien to them. One educated guess is that most other Asian cultures have heavy Chinese and/or Indian influence, and in both of these cultures the role of the… Read more »
Robert Haighton
Guest
@FallenAngel, So what you are saying is, is that its almost impossible to transcend from that “culture” from within (the Philippines)? If one wants to transcend from that “culture” he/she will probably be looked at as an “outcast” almost. And who wants to be(come) an outcast in ones own country? It needs a lot of gutz. Then all I wonder is how would those pinays that are looking for a partner abroad may survive? Arent they all in for a culture shock? A clash of cultures? My partner tells me she will bloom and flourish 10 times more and better… Read more »
Robert Haighton
Guest

The only Asian country I have visited (so far) are the Philippines. Although I know a bit about Thailand but nothing compared to what I know (or think I know) about the Philippines.

Joe America
Guest
If I may interject a comment in this interesting exchange. As FA says, this is very complex. The Philippines had a woman president, whereas the States has not (sorry Robert, for the obsession with the States; in the best of American self-absorption, I know nothing about Holland). My wife went from submissive to standing up to the Barangay Captain and others in three years. I think the Church and the Department of Education are responsible for holding women back. The Filipinas I know overseas adapt well. So it isn’t a matter of this “submissiveness” being a block of stone. Also,… Read more »
Robert Haighton
Guest
@Joe America, I dont blame you for knowing nothing about the Netherlands. The Netherlands is a tiny, small country and not a big player on the global fields. Although it gets a lot of criticism for its liberal ideas and laws about soft-drugs. I am not proud to be dutch but I am glad and happy I was born here compared to many other (even western) countries. I myself visited the States 3 times on 3 different occassions (last time summer 2005) and I enjoyed each minute of it. Especially New York and San Francisco. Las Vegas is kitch and… Read more »
FallenAngel
Member
Robert, Yes, almost impossible, but not zero. Many of the younger people I know are now beginning to see things in a more “enlightened” manner. The culture shock is inevitable, but Filipinos/Filipinas, with their familiarity with Western ways compared to other Asian cultures, quickly adapt. Your partner verifies the idea that the pervading culture here is like a set of shackles that prevents people from realizing their true worth and potential. Filipino society is still very stratified and rigid that people who do not fit into certain pre-defined roles are ostracized. One surprisingly inextinguishable but suppressed trait of Filipinos is… Read more »
Domingo Arong
Guest
Ilda. This is the link to the NSO data on Marriages by Nationality of Bride and Groom as of 2003 (updated 2006): http://www.census.gov.ph/data/sectordata/2003/ms0304.htm This link below is a discussion of the marriage statistics: http://www.census.gov.ph/data/sectordata/sr06206tx.html And there is this discussion on: “Intermarriages with Filipinas are highest among Japanese nationals”: “A total of 17,095 or 2.9 percent were intermarriages between Filipino brides and grooms with foreign nationals. Of this total, some 13,497 or 2.3 percent Filipino brides tied knot with foreigner grooms while 3,598 or 0.6 percent Filipino grooms married foreigner brides. Nearly three-fourths of the total intermarriages were of Filipino brides.… Read more »
Attila
Guest
What happened to the Koreans and the Indians? The last time I was in Angeles they were all over the place outnumbering all others in the bars and dance clubs. They like F#@%ing Filipinas but they certainly don’t like to marry them. I wander why Filipinos tolerate such racist people. They are in the Philippines doing business in a large scale but they just don’t mix with the locals. I would love to hear an honest admission from a Korean men that they are the Ãœbermensch and a Filipina just can’t measure up to them. Funny how the Filipinos are… Read more »
Robert Haighton
Guest

@Ilda,

probably you are right about the “if” and a “less stressful job”.

But it doesnt work like that in my country. You either want a kid or not and regardless of job you will do it (get pregnant) or not. The “lower” the job the higher the probability the women will opt becoming a (part-time or full time) house wife after giving birth. The “higher” the job the least I expect that to happen.

Robert Haighton
Guest

@Joe,

to be very honest with you. I have no clue why pinays date, court and marry foreigners. From what I know and from what I saw (in Cebu) there is a huge age-gap. This is almost a phenemenon and not natural. Most pinays could be the foreigner’s daughter (in age) and I am sure I do not exagerate. Why do they prefer to live in the country of the foreigner? More wealth, better health(??), more materialistics, more freedom, better paid jobs.

Joe America
Guest
Yes, the age difference is material, very real, and possibly “not natural”. Unless it is normal that a whole lot of men go through mid-life crisis every 10 years or so and are still at it at 60. I’m thinking it is fairly common, and men come to the Philippines because Filipinas without a lot of upward opportunity will look for love and often find it where others either don’t have to look, or don’t want to. Health care is not so hot in the Philippines, I think. But healthy living (better food and relaxed beach lifestyle) is good. Yes,… Read more »
Robert Haighton
Guest
Most of the time, Pinays say the age is just a number. Sorry, but I disagree. Your age tells you what you did in life (mostly), it determines your mental wisdom, your street credibility. Come on what does a 20 year old know versus what a 50 year old (should) know(s). By “natural and normal” I mean that – at least for me – the age gap between me and all my previous Dutch partners was 4-5 years tops. And this is what I see around me globally except for the types of Anne Nicole Smith and the boss of… Read more »
Joe America
Guest
“Age is just a number” “Natural” suggests to me that the pattern must be followed because it is “societally correct”. I think rules made up by consensus (of churches, political parties, or even governments) are often flawed, and freedom to do whatever one wants as long as it harms no one else is a good value. To Filipinas, I think age is indeed just a number when it comes to practical matters like finding a better life. It is not just a number when it comes to the fact that the old guy will die first. But my sense is… Read more »
Robert Haighton
Guest

@Joe,

Finding someone my own age is a matter of looking for my equal (mature wise, age wise, mental wise, spiritual wise, subtance wise).

Otherwise we can still f*** our own female partners that are 20 years old today, when age is just a number, who cares right?

Well I do care!!!!

Joe America
Guest

You have honorable standards. I enjoyed exchanging thoughts with you.

Concerned Citizen
Guest

I honestly think this is a flawed article. Generalizations are made from a “drop of water coming from a vast ocean”. Remember, there are 92M Filipinos (with about half being females). How can one, honestly draw conclusions from the behavior of a micro-miniscule number of the total population?

Joe America
Guest

You make a good point, statistically speaking. It is interesting, however, how many people seem to be in agreement with the points made in the article, or at least use it to try to figure out how to live their own lives well. I also rather think that if we didn’t generalize, or make deductions, we wouldn’t think very well.

Perhaps you could specify the flaws of the article and people could comment on them, based on their own experiences.

Robert Haighton
Guest
It would be nice to see some statistics and numbers. And maybe we can spot a trend. But even if and when Ilda is talking about a handful/dozen of women who want to find their match abroad for the only reason given in Ilda’s Blog then its still worth to comment. Although personally I would say a dozen is very neglectable as number. But then again how big is the total group of woman “eligible” to go abroad? total population = 92m total amount of females = 46m (50% of 92m) total amount of women between the age of 20… Read more »
K3
Guest

True, but remember, a single drop of coffee can effectively ruin a pure white dress.

Baron Von Cruzer
Guest
In my experience there two things common among successful marriages between American men and Filipino women here in the US. First, the man has a personality that could be described as “mild-mannered.” You know, “mahinhin.” So they are very compatible with their Filipino wives, who are also, “mahinhin.” Second, the men are are all ex-Navy. They didn’t come to the Philippines to look for a wife. They lived in the Philippines for a while and met someone in a natural manner. The age differences aren’t that big either. That’s because you can retire with a pension in the US Armed… Read more »
Don
Guest

If a barrio lass was given the choice between 2 men of equal income, status in life, virility, and temperament, choice would go to the poor sucker with paler skin.

Robert Haighton
Guest
The latest trend in my country is this: More and more young women will stay single deliberately/voluntarily because they cant find a suitable partner. Maybe those women have high requirements for their prospect spouses, which probably most men cant meet. But as far as I understand thoe women will NOT look abroad for more suitable men. And because those women dont know if and when they will meet “Mr. Right” they will let their egg-cells be frozen (no, I am not kidding; otherwise they go to waste) and be re-inplanted by the time they found “Mr. Right”. At least they… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

Hey Robert, quit it. For me, its becoming obvious you’re just want to have a sex trip in the expense of this blog.

Go get a life in your county where women would spread their legs to anybody. I would assume that you have a hard-on every time you see a straight line.

Robert Haighton
Guest
Is that a vertical, horizontal or diagonal straight line? I will not beat around the bush and yes I like sex. Whats wrong about that? If you tell me that Phili women dont like it then something is really wrong with them. Well maybe they dont know how to orgasm bec they might think its wrong to have an orgasm. What I dont want to say is that sex should be there every single day. Can I take a rain check. But now on a more serious note: My intensions to wander this website was to find answers to my… Read more »
Trosp
Guest

BTW, I’ve been with a Dutch women and they’re really gems. By the book.

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